Wow. STORYTIME!

One day three years ago my mom picked me up from soccer practice and was like "blah blah blah you have a sucky coach blah blah i'm pissy today so hit me and see what happens". I tapped her on the arm and she blew up. She started thrashing and punching and forgot she was driving on the highway and kinda almost crashed. It was mighty scary. When we got home I jumped out of the car and called the popos. She was insane. She kept crying and telling her I beat her up and shit and I was like "Oh, fuck it, she didn't do anything, and blah blah blah I'm telling you what you want to hear so you can go munch on a donut." I had bruises and a sore jaw for two weeks.

Later that night she gave me a card and some jewelry she bought at the Dollar Tree and said "Honey, it wasn't me, it was the Wellbutrin".