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  1.     
    #11
    Member

    For those 35 to say 45 years old

    Quote Originally Posted by 9ski9
    Yes. I had to make a change when I got home from another 70+ hour work week and sat down at the table with two dozen bills and mortgages on three homes...what the fuck am I doing collecting cars, houses, and bottles of wine I really don't like?
    Time starts to fly by when you close in on 40. So we sold a lot of stuff including our main house, cashed in a lot of stocks, and moved to the hills.
    You can always go back to the rat race, but you can never get back missed experiences. I spent today at a lake with my 4-year-old and her best friend. To paraphrase John Irving's "World According to Garp": Life is short, so you have to fill it with as much adventure as possible.
    This is the best thread I've come across in all my days. I was the sam way from the time I was 18, working 70+ hour weeks, never got married, no kids and got to the point where I lost touch w/ everyone I cared about...until about 2 years ago. I met a man that made me realize all the $$ in the world couldn't make me as happy as he did. Moved out of the big city in a sleepy town and other than having a hard time finding bud, life is truly great. Still work FT, but 40 hrs this time and started teaching dance to high school kids at the local school here for free. My job is not an easy one but no comparison to before. I've been able to spend time w/ my family, my husband's children and it's the best life I've lived so far. And guys, not that any of you here sound like you need to hear this, but your family (kids, wives, brothers, parents, etc) would much rather spend time w/ you than the paycheck you bring home...I'll vouch for that!

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  3.     
    #12
    Senior Member

    For those 35 to say 45 years old

    I'm also at that point where I'm looking at a choice of work vs. my family. I'm looking at it from the other perspective though. I have a job that allows me to spend time with my family, get home in time to have dinner with my wife and 2 y/o little girl, and have all my weekends free. It would sound great but my job is quite boring, has little to challenge me, and offers little,if any, chance for advancement. So do I risk my family time which I value incredibly and find a new job or just tough it out where I am? That's my big "what now?" question.

  4.     
    #13
    Senior Member

    For those 35 to say 45 years old

    Quote Originally Posted by Fengzi
    I'm also at that point where I'm looking at a choice of work vs. my family. I'm looking at it from the other perspective though. I have a job that allows me to spend time with my family, get home in time to have dinner with my wife and 2 y/o little girl, and have all my weekends free. It would sound great but my job is quite boring, has little to challenge me, and offers little,if any, chance for advancement. So do I risk my family time which I value incredibly and find a new job or just tough it out where I am? That's my big "what now?" question.
    It's your call, but from my perspective you've got the BEST job in the world. Sometimes you don't appreciate what you've got till it's gone. Just remember, when you die you're family will be the ones crying for you, your company will hire someone to replace you. Spend the time with those who really love you.

  5.     
    #14
    Member

    For those 35 to say 45 years old

    Quote Originally Posted by Fengzi
    I'm also at that point where I'm looking at a choice of work vs. my family. I'm looking at it from the other perspective though. I have a job that allows me to spend time with my family, get home in time to have dinner with my wife and 2 y/o little girl, and have all my weekends free. It would sound great but my job is quite boring, has little to challenge me, and offers little,if any, chance for advancement. So do I risk my family time which I value incredibly and find a new job or just tough it out where I am? That's my big "what now?" question.
    Listen to Donnidarko, you do have a great thing going on. If you're looking for a challenge and some excitement, get out in your community and help out. I'll tell ya, working w/ kids is a hell of a lot of work but it's definelty a lot more fun than my job and I have a good time all in all. And, no there's no $$ involved but the time flies. My husband is on the fire dept. and announces for school games (football, track, etc) and he really digs it. That's his challenge and he's felt the same way you did about his job.

  6.     
    #15
    Senior Member

    For those 35 to say 45 years old

    I think it helps to realize that the values of many (most) other people are so badly out of whack. When I get to know someone and learn about where they come from, the same old thing usually comes across; money, security, comfort, etc. Oh, and fear.

    It seems to come from lifetimes of preoccupation with meaningless things blown up out of proportion. How often it is that "small talk" is the only chatter you get from those all around you. Not many people I meet are self realized, and most couldn't care less. Whether their lawn will impress the neighbors is life and death, though.

    So, do you even know who and what you'd want to be, given the chance to use your potential? It's not the kind of thing you sit down and decide in a few minutes, it takes honest self evaluation, and time, which is too much trouble for a lot of people.

    At least I can say this; the few who I've known who were at peace with themselves don't sit around worrying about it, they just get on with it and do the things that make them go. The limits to what we can do are mostly in our own minds.

    By the way, I'm 53, maybe too old to be hanging out with you 40ish kids.

    42

  7.     
    #16
    Senior Member

    For those 35 to say 45 years old

    In 1998 , at age 40 , i was the owner of a Plumbing and Heating company. I had life all set up, money, hobbies, grown kids everything I needed to have a enjoyable life. One monday morning, at work , i had a heart attack. The stress of everything reached its max and I spent the next few months in and out of hospitals , major surgeries, dieing, finally recovering [somewhat] .I lost my business, my wife and everything i owned because of what happened. I've spent the last 7 years trying to rebuild my life and my health, with not much sucess. I can no longer work and disability doesn't pay the bills.
    So , my advice to you all is , enjoy your family, health, and life , to it's fullest, cause you never know when or how things can change. Life has given me lemons, so i made lemonade, then i got real lucky and found a wonderful woman who's life gave her Vodka, now we're both set , LOL.
    peace
    heart

  8.     
    #17
    Senior Member

    For those 35 to say 45 years old

    Lower 30's

    I had a hard life IMO, I try to make things simple. I cut loose all the things that have been thorn in my side and try to make each day as easy as possible. I am who I am and I try to not worry about things as much. In the next few years I want to buy some land, 5 or 7 acres and put a house in the middle of it. No neighbors, no noise, NOTHING.

    Just my family and I enjoying the time we have together in this life. Watch some football and smoke some weed, this makes me a criminal? How stupid can the American government be?

    or

    the government can send me to prison and I can chill out there well I stop paying taxes and have everyone else pay taxes for me to live in prison.

    Does this make me anti-social? No, I have friends and take my family out on trips and we have a great time, I just like my peace of mind.

  9.     
    #18
    Member

    For those 35 to say 45 years old

    Damn nice to see some others who are 40+ on this board. No offense against you young ones, but I was beginning to feel like Lawrence Welk at an Eminem concert.

    We're in this life together, Marko. Been where you are and know what you're feeling. Best advice I can give you is to remember that your life must be lived for others, not yourself. Work for the good of your family, your friends and your faith, and life will fall into place. Work for yourself and your own selfish desires and it will all fall apart. Work for the good of others and life will reward you and make you rich.

    If I learned anything in my 41 years on this earth, that's it. For most of my life I lived for me and it brought me heartache and despair. Once I started thinking about the welfare of others--family and friends--everything started to dial in.

    Keep the faith, buddy. Live for something bigger than yourself and life will blow your mind with goodness.

  10.     
    #19
    Senior Member

    For those 35 to say 45 years old

    Quote Originally Posted by Xerox Moon
    We're in this life together, Marko. Been where you are and know what you're feeling. Best advice I can give you is to remember that your life must be lived for others, not yourself. Work for the good of your family, your friends and your faith, and life will fall into place. Work for yourself and your own selfish desires and it will all fall apart. Work for the good of others and life will reward you and make you rich.

    If I learned anything in my 41 years on this earth, that's it. For most of my life I lived for me and it brought me heartache and despair. Once I started thinking about the welfare of others--family and friends--everything started to dial in.

    Keep the faith, buddy. Live for something bigger than yourself and life will blow your mind with goodness.
    Hmmm, I have lived my life, since I was a little girl, caring about others, doing for others, and giving others whatever I could give. I got hurt, in a worst way because of this. I was so selfless that as an adult, I really had to learn how to satisfy me, and give to myself sometimes. I think balance is what works. As much as you think of others, you also need to think of yourself too.

    As far as what to do now? Go with what you've always wanted to do. Never wait for the "right" moment because the "right" moment may never come. Spend time with family...enjoy life. Smile often and make sure you make someone laugh or at least smile everyday!!!

  11.     
    #20
    Member

    For those 35 to say 45 years old

    Quote Originally Posted by Cheery Cherry
    Hmmm, I have lived my life, since I was a little girl, caring about others, doing for others, and giving others whatever I could give. I got hurt, in a worst way because of this. I was so selfless that as an adult, I really had to learn how to satisfy me, and give to myself sometimes. I think balance is what works. As much as you think of others, you also need to think of yourself too.

    As far as what to do now? Go with what you've always wanted to do. Never wait for the "right" moment because the "right" moment may never come. Spend time with family...enjoy life. Smile often and make sure you make someone laugh or at least smile everyday!!!
    Your post makes the point: It's not about you. (Look how many times you used the word "I" in one paragraph complaining about how much "you've done for others"). Whether it brings you joy or sorrow, life is not about you, your needs, desires and your pleasures or disappointments. This is the great paradox: Until you live for those you love you will not find genuine fulfillment for yourself.

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