May 17, 2005

Potheads vs. Narcs

By Mary Ann Akers, Roll Call Staff

It would have been the zaniest game of the softball season. But it seems the
Narcs are too chicken to play a bunch of stoners.

The One Hitters, the softball team of the National Organization for the
Reform of Marijuana Laws, claim they¹ve been trying to play ball --
literally -- against the Office of National Drug Control Policy for years.
Finally, this year, it looked like the Bush administration¹s ONDCP office,
also known as the drug czar, was going to come through.

The game was all set for Wednesday, June 8, between the One Hitters and We
Czar the Champions. But then the drug czar¹s office removed the game from
their schedule, saying they couldn¹t muster enough players for that
particular game. (They did, however, have enough players last week in their
game against the Commerce Department.)

The One Hitters tried to reschedule, but the captain of We Czar the
Champions said they were "booked through August."

Now the once-docile potheads are irate.

"Obviously one of the Å?higher ups¹ at ONDCP saw the schedule and nixed the
game," NORML¹s spokesman, Nick Thimmesch, told HOH. "Perhaps they were
spooked by the notion of BYOB -- bring your own bong!"

Kris Krane, NORML¹s associate director and co-captain of the One Hitters,
said: "For years the ONDCP has been unwilling to engage drug policy
reformers in a serious debate on the issues. Now they even refuse to engage
us in a friendly game of softball."

Tom Riley, a spokesman for the drug czar¹s office, said there was "no grand
policy formulation" to dodge playing the One Hitters. He said the stoners
couldn.t possibly have tried to play We Czar the Champions for years,
because the team is brand new.

"This just goes to show the effects of marijuana use on judgment and
reasoning," Riley joked.

At first he toed the party line and blamed his team¹s decision not to play
the One Hitters on a dearth of players. But then he thought better of it and
decided it was a policy decision after all.

"I wouldn¹t think we would play any team that promotes drug use," Riley
said, adding, "that includes teams that promote smoking meth or smoking
crack."
ezjim Reviewed by ezjim on . narcs vs pot heads May 17, 2005 Potheads vs. Narcs By Mary Ann Akers, Roll Call Staff It would have been the zaniest game of the softball season. But it seems the Narcs are too chicken to play a bunch of stoners. The One Hitters, the softball team of the National Organization for the Rating: 5