A few things on Buddhism I could use some clarification on...

[major crisis]

yah, technically when it comes to enlightenment there is no good or bad karma (action). Any karma will weigh you down to the cycle of death and rebirth.

there is heavier Karma than others, it depends on what one has to teach/suffer/learn and this is directly related to what one has done, said, lived like.

what I was meditating about is the feeling of good death or bad death, this in the sense that not everybody dies the same way - feeling the same way, feeling the same "death flash" I mean; the way Death comes to the individual is directly related to his/her Karma, the sensation when dying, I meant.