haha once i had a spliff in my pocket, and i got downstairs and reached in to check if it was there. It wasnt, so i got mega paranoid. Then i thought "stop being a twat, you probably didnt take it out of the drawer to start with" so i walked upstairs scolding myself for being so paranoid, only to find the spliff lying on the landing right outside my mums door.

moral of the story - Your not paranoid, everyone really is out to get you