Ok, here's how it went.

After some practice I settled on crotching it. Boxer briefs seem to be made for this. The trap door seems to hold it perfectly. But just incase, and because I wanted to increase insulation I add security I bought a pair if long johns 1 size smaller than I normally wear. I wore them over my underwear (to me wearing 2only 3 pairs of underwater would set off alarms for an astute examiner (remember, I also had a physical and I didn't know if id be dropping my pants for that before or after). I tucked the long johns onto my socks in case, somehow, the bottle did gall out it would still be secure....

Test was at 1230 &I had to be in meetings all day before that so my plan to keep it warm was this- I prewarmed the sample and nuked a gator aid bottle full of water to about 110f and recapped it. I activated a basic hot pack (said it runs at 110 and lasts 30 minutes, this is not the warmer that came with the dr greens. I wrapped all this in a towel like a burrito and put that into a small trash bag tied off to act as a vapor barrier &I retain heat. This was left in a cold car for 4the hours and was 96f when I opened it 4 hours to later. Popped the included hot pack, attached to bottle with included rubber band and put in the trapped door of the boxer briefs.

I felt like I had a giant sign saying "this guy is shady"! All of a sudden it didn't seem comfortable and didn't seem to ride right. In hindsight I chalk this up to nerves but remember that once you hit the parking lot you can't make adjustments. If I had to do it again (I wont!) I would either walk around a bit or place it at a gas station bathroom instead of doing it in the car. I was stuck with what I had.

Signed in, did alot of paper work, and waited. Place was crazy slow, was there over 3the hours total.

Called back and UA was first! Perfect. Private bathroom, no sink, lock in door (which I didn't notice for 30the seconds and then decided it would be weird for a guy to lock it at that point so go slow and steady and look at the knob before you close the door so you can close and lock all at once. There was NO DYE in the toilet and this was kinda a problem- I had massively diluted and somehow timed the B vitamin wrong and I had the slightest color. This did not match my sample at all, but was not noticed. Beware of thuds tho... I was dressed "business casual" and look professional. I received very little scrutiny.

It was a single sample cup that had a line half way up. The agent x is three oz and I had a third left when filled to the line. Added a little more to avoid suspicion &I poured the rest in the toilet to try to add color. Didn't make a difference.

Handed it over. We stood there and chatted while he started paperwork. Then he peels off a label, quickly glanced and said "I wont waste anybodies time sending this in"date. and I watched him throw the entire sample in the trash. I knew right there I was good.

I wont go into the physical portion because that's not what the forum is about. BUT know that my experience varied wildly from others that took the same test. I was able ro know this by saying to others in my group that I had never taken a DOT before and didn't know what entailed. Of the five guys in the conversation, none of us had the same experience at this site. Some guys got a hernia test, I did not.some gowned up, I did the exam in street clothes. Some pissed first, some last, some in the middle of other tests(eye, hearing,physical, and functional agility). Versions varied wildly, it seems I had the least invasive physical exam and the most extensive agility &I streamgth test. That test had the potential to dislodge the bottle easily if not well secured so be forwarned, but I personally was never aepeeated from my clothing and never even had to drop my pants. Both these things happened to others.

The actual sub was very easy. Sample was 98f . Flip top cap did not leak, which I was worried about but testing showed no issues. I did not use the flip part, just un screwed it to because I wanted to avoid the "ketchup bottle fart" sound. Put the empty bottle in my coat pocket. Then pissed in toilet, pausing to simulate the filling of the cup.. BTW that little heat pack kicks ass. It was still hot at 5.

I sincerely hope posting my experience helps someone as this site helped me. Subbing worked for me, your milage may vary. Until these retarded laws are abolished, or I retire, I will not partake again. This wasn't a job at walmart, this was a lifechanging opportunity that I have worked towards for almost twenty years and happened to appear at literally the ONLY time I was ever dirty. The amount of stress I was under was the most intense thing I have ever experienced, to the point I was afraid I would fail the physical because the toll on my body was severe. I don't ever want to feel like this again.

You guys have a great community, please keep on taking care of each other and getting good info out.

Thanks