Well then.
Let me recommend the Eyeclops or the "Supereyes".
They are well under $50 and the 'clops will do 100x, 200x, and 400x and is portable with a little USB memory stick for transfer.
The Supereyes is cheaper, but only has one speed and is tethered to a USB cable.
They both do decent macro pics.
I mean, if you are going to post pics, they should be able to compete with your excellent Avatar, yah?

Turns out, the iphone lens didn't fit my model.
So I use it like a loupe for live inspection.

A.
W.