well first of all welcome. second, enjoy your new found awareness. most of the negative info you get on on herb will be propaganda put out by most government agencies.
they run bogus studies, manipulate the findings to suit themselves then only publish whatever will back up their theories. unfortunately for them someone will do real research and refute their claims and then it starts all over again.
if smoking has helped you then id say "if aint broken dont fix it." enjoy it, thats what its there for. anything in excess can screw you up.
as for making you lazy or amotivational, i gotta argue against that. i run my own business and im considered a "chronic smoker". i smoke everyday several times a day. no problems worth mentioning in the last 30+ years.
gratz on finding the "real you"