Hey All,

After frantically scouring forums on drug testing after I found out I was going to be tested, I thought I would pay it forward and share my own testing experience.

To give you a little background: I am a moderate-frequent smoker (averaging maybe 4 times/week), I am in law school, and was offered a kickass legal position with a corporation a couple months ago. Everything seemed great-- I accepted the offer, I was given my start date and my wage. So, it came as a real shock when 2 weeks after accepting the position, I was told I would need a pre-employment drug test. It was pretty obvious it was only a urine test, which was better than the alternative.

I initially thought I would have 2+ weeks before the drug test, so I started on a GNC vitamin + super workout regimen (I will try to find the post I got that from and link it here later). I'm female, around 5'7", 140ish pounds, so I thought it might work. 4 days in, I received my drug testing info in the mail, and was given 48 hours to go get tested. If I didn't get tested within 48 hours, my offer would be immediately rescinded.

Thus, PANIC MODE. I took a couple at-home tests, but they all came up positive. I thought about trying to stall my drug test, tell them I was out of town, that I didn't receive the letter, etc., but ultimately decided I didn't want to risk it. The job was too good to lose over a drug test. So, I realized I had 3 options:

1. Call my future supervisor, tell him the situation, hope for the best.
2. Dilute
3. Substitute

Dilution was the first thing I crossed off the list- it didn't seem like a sure enough bet. I wrestled between calling my supervisor and substitution for 24 hours, before I decided to try substitution. I went to a drug store, bought 2 small 2 oz. travel bottle, handwarmers and a thermometer. I didn't have time to order anything synthetic, which turned out to be a good thing. I was lucky to find a clean friend who would give me her urine. I practiced in one of the travel bottles with my own urine 3 times before doing the real thing. I tried it with and without handwarmers. I found that the handwarmers were unnecessary if I put the bottle INSIDE my underwear so it was touching skin (and maybe a little bit more). One of my biggest pieces of advice: practice, practice, practice.

DAY OF THE TEST:

I decided to wear a dress and spanx (kind of like spandex shorts that make girls seem significantly fitter) for the test. The dress would cover any bulge, and the spanx would keep the bottle squarely in place. My friend came over, filled up the bottle for me, we took the temp., stuck it in my spanx, and headed on our way. I took the temperature 1 block away from the testing center, and it read 96.7 degrees. About 15 minutes elapsed from filling the bottle until I walked in the door.

The testing center was a Quest Diagnostics center, and it was very small. Only one other person was there getting tested. They had me sign my name on a sign-in sheet, and told me to sit down. About 5 minutes later, a woman called my name and brought me to a back room. I handed her my pre-employment paperwork, my SSN and drivers license, and was told to sit with her in the back room as she entered my info into the computer. While I was there, I looked at some of the signs they had on the walls, and I want to point out something important I saw. On several of the signs, it SPECIFICALLY stated that Quest Labs tests for Synthetic Urine. They even went as far as naming some of the companies that produce synthetic urine. So, if you are thinking about using synthetic urine for a Quest lab.....you've been warned.

After everything was entered in to the computer, she took a cup, unwrapped it, and had me follow her to a private restroom. She told me to fill it up to the black temperature line, to not flush the toilet, and to not wash my hands. After I had peed in the cup, she told me to put it on the counter and not put the cap on. Then she left the bathroom, and closed the door behind her....which I promptly locked. I immediately took the bottle out, poured it in to the cup (2 oz. was more than enough). To make it realistic, I peed a little bit myself in to the toilet, which had water dyed blue. After I put the bottle back in to my spanx. Special note for girls: remember to put some toilet paper in the toilet after you are done.

I put the cup on the sink counter, and opened the door. The first thing she did was record the temp., and checked the box verifying it was between 90 and 100 degrees. She then went over to the toilet, looked in it, poured some of my sample into a test tube, and dumped the rest in to the toilet before flushing. She put the cap on, and had me initial it. She then let me wash my hands. As I was doing that, I looked over and saw her mark a box that said "No Suspicious Behavior Observed". I said goodbye and was on my way!


Some notes to take away:
1. Substitution is easier than you think
2. Don't use synthetic if you have to go to a Quest lab
3. Handwarmers aren't necessary if you can get to the testing site quickly enough
4. Try your best to act natural, don't make them think you are "suspicious"

Hope that helps somebody out there! Let me know if you have any questions or want more info. Good luck!


Little sidenote: The day after I took the test I took my remaining at-home test....and there was a very faint line to indicate negative. Still, not worth the risk.
lookinout Reviewed by lookinout on . My Urine Drug Test Experience Hey All, After frantically scouring forums on drug testing after I found out I was going to be tested, I thought I would pay it forward and share my own testing experience. To give you a little background: I am a moderate-frequent smoker (averaging maybe 4 times/week), I am in law school, and was offered a kickass legal position with a corporation a couple months ago. Everything seemed great-- I accepted the offer, I was given my start date and my wage. So, it came as a real shock when 2 Rating: 5