Wait a minute...... Im asking for some clarification of my own:

Who exactly is going to take this drug test, you or your wife? Im asking this because with these two statements below, I spot an inconsistency thats sending my neural networks into a tailspin:
I'm going to be attempting to get a substitution but in the event of observation also want to be prepared for dilution should it be needed.
My wife is freaking the F out about this test, especially as she came up positive on a home test this morning.
A little clarification on this is appreciated. Giving out helpful advice would be of no problem. All whats being asked in advance is to please keep the story consistent and real and refrain from posting in the third person.