Bin Ladens real name is actually Buck O'Hanrahan, and he lives in Fairfax, Virginia. 15 years ago a bright spark at the CIA got him an told him that, so long as they can use him as a sort of puppet thing, they'd ppay him a wage.
He accepted. Now him and some mates occasiionally get together for a BBQ but do it in fancy dress (rugs, blankets etc) and every so often, MSN C, Fox, ABC etc role out one of his home videos and say its Bin Laden threatening to attack.