Hey MacD, with your family history and detailed accounts of events. I can only assume, you have sought medical treatment for any pre-existing genetic problems and how it factors into your daily life?

I'd start there and make sure the mmj isn't kicking off, something genetically, in your head! However, as you, I feel something is needed and cannabis is the correct medication. It would seem you need the CBD rich and THC low. I use a Blueberry or Skywalker, generally around 12-14% THC and rich in the CBD's. It relaxes my body and gives me emotional freedom, without any type of excitement. Just mellow!

Perhaps you can grow your own. If in a legal state (since you went to a legal mmj caregivers), get your rec and get a few of the very low THC strain of indica.

Many studies are being done on the psychiatric fronts:http://boards.cannabis.com/medicinal...ml#post2237191

As much as I'd like to say, quit forever. You seem educated enough, you can figure out, HOW to medicate responsibly. When using an indica, often it may take 40 minutes for the full effect. A sativa, is generally pretty fast acting--at least for me.
I've read plenty of psychiatric studies and I am beginning to think that many psychiatric conditions, may be cannabinoid deficiency. I expect, we'll be hearing plenty on this topic, in time to come.

I'd like to tell you to quit. However, I think others will agree with me; try some cannabudder and make some brownies. And don't eat more than a small piece and late in the evening, before bed or a week-end. See how that works? It would seem to me, you need the relaxing effects? pr