Urine Analysis plan

[BigTacross]

I have a NIDA/DOT method and I HOPE I'm just facing a urine analysis.

I'm a big guy. Like 6'2 about 285 lbs. I'll be cannabis free for 8 days when I take the test. It's a situation where they are testing everyone at an appointed time, so unless I call in sick with a REALLY great excuse I have to take it then. And even if I do, I'm going to have to face the music next time I go in anyway. I can't really substitute because, like I said, I have to go when they call me to at work so I have no way of heating it or keeping it on me all day while I work.

So I'm trying to weigh out my options. I got "The Stinger" extra strength (herbal drink). I'd like to take that but I keep reading that they test for those now too. So I'm wondering if I should skip that and just dilute?

In the meantime, I have a plan based on things I've been reading and here's what it is:

1) Exercise every day
2) Limit fatty foods and dairy to almost none
3) Drink tons of water every day all day
4) Take a over-the-counter diuretic every day
5) Take a multivitamin

My rationale is to sweat those metabolites and urinate them out best I can. Day of the test, I plan to drink gallons of water all day and keep peeing clear. I'll double up on my multivitamin so I get a little color. Best I can do is hope the dilution works or at least buys me enough time to keep sweating this crap out.


If anyone has any advice/suggestions for me please tell me. If I'm doing anything wrong, please tell me. IF you can point me in the direction of some good information I'llt ake that as well. I read all the sticky threads on ehre best I could, but some of that information is years old and I don't know how good some of it is anymore.

BigTacross Reviewed by BigTacross on 11-14-2012. Urine Analysis plan I have a NIDA/DOT method and I HOPE I'm just facing a urine analysis. I'm a big guy. Like 6'2 about 285 lbs. I'll be cannabis free for 8 days when I take the test. It's a situation where they are testing everyone at an appointed time, so unless I call in sick with a REALLY great excuse I have to take it then. And even if I do, I'm going to have to face the music next time I go in anyway. I can't really substitute because, like I said, I have to go when they call me to at work so I have no Rating: 5

[Burnt Toast]

Drinking a bunch of water days or weeks before a U/A is of no help. It must be understood that THC is not water soluble. THC is fat soluble. THC is stored in the fat cells and remain there until the fat cells are burned for energy. Therefore, you cannot rid the fat cells of THC by drinking copius amounts of water. Does not work that way (more on that in a moment).

When fat cells burn, the THCA metabolites are released back into the bloodstream, filtered by the kidneys, and are deposited into the bladder for the eventual exit (this is the main reason why THC carries a longer detection period than other types of drugs). A sizeable portion of THC metabolites are excreted via the feces, but since fecal matter is not a collected specimen for drug tests, our focus here will be on urine.

Drinking fluids only serves to dilute the THCA concentration that is present in the bladder. The idea is to dilute that concentration to where the urine sample registers below the cutoff thresholds of the drug screen. Its a balancing act and the dilution phenomena is only temporary - once the fluids ingested had all been urinated out, the bladder is replenished with fresh THCA-laden urine, and thus the donor is right back to square one.

Sweating is hardly of any help because very little THC is excreted via sweat. You could sweat enough to fill many buckets, yet the amount of THC being excreted would still be miniscule. The rest are being excreted via the urine and feces.

Exercise is helpful if you have weeks to prepare. However, if your home test kits show a positive, and the scheduled U/A is 3 days or less away, then exercise can work against you for the reasons stated in paragraph 2. Therefore, for those 3 days, you want to curtail all fat-burning activities and be as dormant as possible until after the U/A. That way you wont be releasing a bunch of THCA into the bloodstream, which would end up in the urine to be detected.

I got "The Stinger" extra strength (herbal drink). I'd like to take that but I keep reading that they test for those now too. So I'm wondering if I should skip that and just dilute?

Forget those magic detox potions. All detox potions "work" by diluting (that is when they do work at all). They "work" because of the water that youre required by the instructions to drink with them. You can spend up to $200 on a magic elixir, and accomplish nothing different than what can be accomplished using just vitamin b2 and water.
In summary, detox products are a big scam to prey upon the uninformed and credulous, and taking their cash. Cannabis users are victimized enough by the so-called 'war on drugs' without these vulturing scam artists swooping down into the mix.

There is no product that can permanently rid the body of THC, regardless of what those sales pitches would like the consumer to believe. The only proven way to permanently rid the body of THC is time and exercise

While the Dilution "sticky" thread is nearly a decade old, it is, for the most part, still relevant today. About the only step that no longer applies is the "Aspirin" step. My post, which is the closing post of the "sticky", will tell you why.

[BigTacross]

So, in other words, I'ms crewed... :-/


Just gotta hope I can dilute enough to help myself out. Like I said, subbing is simply not an option as I have no way of keeping a specimen warm enough for the hours I'll be at work.

Thanks for the info, Burnt Toast. Sorry you have to repeat yourself so much on here.

[Burnt Toast]

Like I said, subbing is simply not an option as I have no way of keeping a specimen warm enough for the hours I'll be at work.

There is a way - handwarmer packs. They are inexpensive and can be purchased at any hunting/camping/sporting goods store.

Ive had many successes with subbing during random situations similar to yours. On one occasion, when I was tapped on the shoulder to go take a U/A, I told the Safety Director that "I left my drivers license at the house and need to go get it (a 20 min drive from the job)".
He grumbled his head off, but he knew: "no picture ID, no test" says the collection facilities policy. So I had him by his gonads and he knew it. So he drove me (with 3 other employees hit with the same random in tow) to the house and that allowed me to microwave my sub to the proper temp.

On another occasion, I had my bottle of synthetic at hand in the facility but had not activated the handwarmer pack. When the collector called out my name and handed me the specimen cup, I walked into the bathroom, activated the handwarmer and attatched it to the bottle. I then walked out and informed the collector that "I could not pee".

Not everybody can urinate on command.

Under DHHS regulations in regards to "shy bladder" situations, the collection facility must allow the donor to sit back in the lobby and drink water for up to 3 hours, or when the donor is able to produce a sufficient amount of sample - whichever comes first. I took advantage of this to allow the handwarmer to heat the synthetic urine to 100F. It took a little more than 1 hour for the bottle to reach 100F, but that was no concern to me because, like Ive stated, I was taking full advantage of the 3-hour window.

The point is that as long as you wont be watched (which you will not on DOT-regulated tests unless youve been suspected of tampering), subbing is an option in random situations. You just have to be a little more creative. When theres a will, theres a way.

[BigTacross]

So I take it your advice would be to sub?

If I did, how do I keep it on me and warm if they make me empty my pockets and everything?

[Burnt Toast]

So I take it your advice would be to sub?

Yep. Its your best bet if passing this test is important to you - so important that its not worth taking chances with your own urine.

If I did, how do I keep it on me and warm if they make me empty my pockets and everything?

You dont stash it in your pockets. Stash it as outlined in N2s Substitution sticky thread.

[BigTacross]

The synthetic route just makes me super nervous because it's so unpredictable but I guess so is dilution.