Substitution advice. How it worked for me- if you're iffy about it, read on!

[anakin skywalker]

First off I just really need to thank N2 for his substitution sticky and everyone who posted their tactics going into their pre-employment drug test with an attempt at the substitution method. Okay but a little about me, I'm 22 years old, about 170 lbs, and I usually smoke every day. Some days I'll smoke just a little (let's say half a gram) but some days my friends will just roll blunt after blunt and we'll have burned down seven 1g blunts of loud in less than 3 hours. Haven't even seen mids in the past 2 years. But I had been searching for a job, but I smoke a lot so I decided to stay in the food industry and applied at a handful of places to be a server. There's one electronics store that I have applied a hundred times at over the years, but never got a call back. But I ran into one of my friends who worked there when I was getting help with my phone, and he basically told me how to fill out the online application's survey to get the job (btw, it's ALWAYS make sure you sI elect Strongly Agree/Disagree, nothing in between). Three interviews, three days and thirty blunts later... I realize I have to take a drug test for this company within 48 hours.

Of course, I go straight to Google and search for how to pass a drug test for marijuana, TODAY! Did research for well over an hour before I found N2's substitution sticky on these forums, but realizing it was out of date, I made sure to keep looking through Google and these forums on other people's more recent adventures with substitution, and I was extremely surprised about the sheer number of people deciding to use dilution over substitution. But I knew from the second I saw it that substitution was my ONLY option. I'm sure a lot of people don't like doing it because they're cheating the system fairly hard, and you could possibly get in some type of trouble if you were caught. But, if you are a functioning smoker like me and don't like to drink and do other shit, being sober completely for a months sucks. So take my advice, and fucking GO FOR IT! Don't be nervous going in there, just own it! Here's what I did.

At first I used a 4 oz cough syrup bottle to practice with. I decided it would be the bottle I used, even though it didn't have a realistic sound when I poured it into the cup. [[DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT. For pre-employment drug tests, the nurses won't be suspicious of you, especially if you ask them about their day and just be friendly. It was for LapCorp, by the way.]] But anyways, I had a digital thermometer and kept making sure what 100-104 degrees of water felt like in my container, and then tried multiple times to 'crotch' it and heat it up, and cool it down with my body heat. It worked somewhat, but by most people's responses I felt like I would only be in the place for a few minutes before I had to pee in the cup, so I knew as long as I didn't under-do it I would be fine. I convinced my drug-free little brother to come with me to the place and pee in my bottle, just to make sure. I had it all planned out for the following morning.

But the next day when I got my final practice run in, I realized the cough syrup bottle still smelled faintly of cough syrup. So I panicked, but while taking a shower I saw a travel-shampoo that was around 4 oz. It was a tad bit longer than the other bottle, but I practiced walking around with it 'crotched' and it was just as easy. When time had come to actually go tot he place with me, my brother flat out refused to go with me and begged to just pee in a cup at our house. I agreed because I remembered seeing something about heating the bottle up with the car's defroster, WHICH WORKS EXTREMELY WELL! Fuck the handwarmers. So I drove to the place with a bottle of piss on my dash and a grin on my face.

When I got to the designated hospital, I used my digital thermometer to make sure the pee was at 98 degrees before I went inside. When I went in I found out I had to go through Urgent Care for the urine analysis test, which made me panic for a few minutes while I filled out the forms.... There was nearly 20 other people in the room when I got there. Luckily, a nurse came out within two minutes of me signing the forms (on top of the 5 minutes it took to fill the forms out, legs crossed the whole time to keep it warm with my body heat) and brought me to the back. She asked me to take everything out of my pockets and place them inside this locker that was in the room. I asked her if I could get something to drink because I didn't realize that I'd be taking a urine test ( ;D ). She said "Well... it will take a minute if I have to go get water, can you try? You only have to fill it up to here." and pointed to the temperature strip at the bottom of the large cup. "Most definitely!" I said with a smile and entered the bathroom, locked the door behind me, and immediately un-crotched the 'specimen' and dumped it into the cup. Surprisingly the full amount of my brother's piss was JUST enough to make it over the top of the temperature strip. I looked at the strip (it had numbers 90 92 94 96 98 100 with boxes under each one, like a small grid) and could see a blue circle appearing under the 90, and green one under 92, and finally a tan one under 94. With a huge grin I tried to piss into the blue-watered toilet, but I just couldn't do it. And she had said not to flush. After another minute I exited the room, handed the nurse the cup, and signed some forms saying I watched her pack up my drug test. The nurse was in the room outside of the bathroom, but she wasn't specifically listening for any stream with her ear to the door or anything crazy. Got a call from the manager who hired me, saying I passed the drug test and gave me my start date!

So bottom line, if there's any doubt or fear that you'd fail normally or even if you're diluting, SUBSTITUTE! It just takes some balls, you have to be CONFIDENT! Fuck practice, confidence is the key, as it is in most other aspects of life. There's probably a few things I forgot... But I'll remember! Just wanted to share my experience and give all the people worried about trying it a heads up. The sub club is where it's at

anakin skywalker Reviewed by anakin skywalker on 11-10-2012. Substitution advice. How it worked for me- if you're iffy about it, read on! First off I just really need to thank N2 for his substitution sticky and everyone who posted their tactics going into their pre-employment drug test with an attempt at the substitution method. Okay but a little about me, I'm 22 years old, about 170 lbs, and I usually smoke every day. Some days I'll smoke just a little (let's say half a gram) but some days my friends will just roll blunt after blunt and we'll have burned down seven 1g blunts of loud in less than 3 hours. Haven't even seen mids Rating: 5

[anakin skywalker]

just wanted to say that I can answer any questions needed! ive done this now twice for two separate jobs, one labcorp and one not. so ask away!

[deandavidmartin]

I would still practice, but you're right, it's not rocket science. Good job

[vermilion smoker]

Skywalker. Have you had a synthetic urine fail at labcorp? I plan on using quick fix for a random..

[choas89]

+1 one on quick fix passed today.

[tbass]

So bottom line, if there's any doubt or fear that you'd fail normally or even if you're diluting, SUBSTITUTE! It just takes some balls, you have to be CONFIDENT! Fuck practice, confidence is the key, as it is in most other aspects of life. There's probably a few things I forgot... But I'll remember! Just wanted to share my experience and give all the people worried about trying it a heads up. The sub club is where it's at

+ ONE MILLION

Just got an opportunity to RETEST for a new job from a positive THC screen. Quick Fixed my cleavage and I've never been more relieved. I even showed that bitch the insides of my pockets and looked squeaky clean. Only thing that made me nervous was the sound of the bottle "sucking" air back in. Had to give a couple fake coughs and sniffs. Pour method might actually be more aurally clandestine if you have privacy. Oh, and dont make sudden movements with the bottle on your upper body because you can slightly hear the water moving about.

[32yrslater]

You can't get in trouble if caught. What can they do....not hire you?

[Burnt Toast]

Fuck practice, confidence is the key

For most people, practice helps in boosting confidence.

[Emenderman]

Ok, I plan on posting how I do it and my results here.

I haven't gotten the official job offer as of yet, but I expect to be getting one shortly, within a few days.

I've been reading the posts here often the past several weeks, as I've been applying and interviewing.

BTW Thanks to N2 and everyone else who posts in here, the moderators, thanks alot! We shouldnt have to do all this, IMO, but it is what it is for now.

I digress...

The Scenario:
Pre-employment drug test in 2-7 days (or how long do they typically give you with the offer?)
I smoked up until last night, when I got a call this AM telling me I got the job.

From my reading here, I think I'm going to a) substitute using Quick Fix, as first plan, b), dilute using N2s method for backup. I am definitely concerned about Quick Fix, even though most of what I'm seeing on here is that it works with most pre-employment tests. I would love to hear from anyone with more knowledge on quick fix and/or a better sub method. The negative dilute result is too risky, I don't want to go down that road. So I'll order the quick fix and I have B-complex, niacin and i'll get creatine and gatorade.

BTW, has anyone on here ever just disclosed to their employer be forehand that they may have marijuana in their system? I've heard of a case where the employer just said "ok no problem, just have the test done within 90 days." this would be the more honest way obviously, but depending on how I feel this will be plan C.

Any advice or pointers would be greatly appreciated, and I'll be sure to post my results and method!