Hey you guys those are some awesome responses. It sounds like I hit on something that a bunch of people have been trying to deal with. I like the soda bottle trick, and might do that if I can't find the "watering sticks". If I got REALLY creative, I could build an elaborate system like this:

A bucket full of water. Sumbersible pump in said bucket, on a timer to run for 30 minutes a day. Restrict the hell out of the water supply or output, and figure out how to make sure it pumps the necassary amount of water, once per day (or however often). But that sounds like a bit of a pipe dream, pardon the pun. Maybe one day if I was a "super grower", but nah.

I'm worried about destroying this crop because they're my only seedlings, and if these girls die, I have to buy more seeds and start from scratch again.

And do the dipshit who made the comment about "having no friends I can trust", two things I've learned in my life concerning illegal activities:

(a) Shut the fuck up. Don't tell anyone what you're doing, ever. The number one way that cops figure stuff out is by you opening your bit fat trap. I'll probably rotate my username on here a bunch, just so I don't leave an e-trail of information.
(b) Friends today can become your enemies of tomorrow. It's a sad reality, and although I have a lot of awesome friends over many years, I see no reason to stake 15 years in a state prison on that when I can just pop a hole in a two liter bottle instead.