Quote Originally Posted by zarathustra
When i was little, I had an ant farm. Those fuckers didn't grow shit.
That one was pretty funny. I was half stoned at work the other day and someone sent me this and I laughed my ass off.

The Boss was in quandary. He had to fire somebody. He had it narrowed down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It was an impossible decision, they were both super workers. Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.

Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hang-over after partying all night. She went to the cooler to take an aspirin.
The Boss approached her and said: " Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off."
"Could you jack off?" she says. "I feel like shit."