Well guys, I have some useful information
I was using the gh trio, grow bloom and micro. the symptoms here looked a ton like either iron or sulpher def.. so, I checked out the back of the bottles.. grow actually has none of either.. bloom and micro both have micro nutes.. but grow is primarily potassium and a modest amount of nitrogen.

Seeing this, I thought about the Lucas formula.. which uses one part micro to two parts bloom, and cuts out the grow completely.. basically doubling-tripling my iron, and quadrupling my sulpher amounts in the res.
This coupled with a weekly morning foliar feed of iron has completely halted all of my problems.. Not to mention simplified feeding.. Also no longer need calmag.

The only problem with this now is that I don't have a good way of feeding my soil girls, with hydro I am in control.. with the dirt ladies they are more or less on their own. so, next round I think I'm doing hempy buckets with airstones in their res, and using a screen for canopy managment. should be a pretty simple set up
within a day, all of my plants instantly stopped yellowing