prettygirl...i dont know what to tell you as i m not a family counselor, but some points. Your father left your life at an early age. He made mistakes. You grew up without knowing what is really up or any communication. Now, he reached out and wanted to be with you for the holidays. You said he smokes, so that is something you have in common and its not a bad idea to ask if he wants to just chill, smoke and talk. i hope you get in touch with him.....both of you need to be logical about this, with a little bit of love....hope it works out for you