My dad passed when I was 30. I never had a chance to see him as an adult, after age 21! Well, that is an old dealt with story. Lets try to make your story a better one. My Dad dropped dead at age 58 of a massive M.I. (oh, Heart Attack)! I went to both his funeral's totally stoned. It helped! But doesn't solve the feelings. It takes time to work them through. Sometimes, we don't always have 'all the time in the world!' hate to tell you my last words to my dad! But, he did deserve it and it would have been nice to have made some effort. Well, I did, I was going to go see him & my mom for X-mas, but work would not let me. He died 2 wks later! pr