1. No, get a program that will teach you how to type. They sell them really cheap at places like wal-mart. $9.99 even.

2. No. Buy a gun on the black market.

3. Yes. Look up Escort in the yellow pages.

4. Don't have one. If I did, I would be too high to bother responding to this post.

5. Yes. Very much so.

6. Kill someone.

7. Bad

8. I don't remember.

9. Not right now I'm not.