What are my best chances of passing a pre-employment test

[Conjurer]

I have a Med Marijuana card, but employers don't have to accommodate, and kind of hard to ask them if they do, heh.

I am 6ft - 265 lbs. Been losing weight (30pds since last summer)

I smoked since last summer about an ounce a month up through 1/31 - so I am 13 days clean.

Been drinking lots of water - 1 gallon + per day - especially the last three days.

I have to test on Wednesday...

Scared shitless! Friends say I should substitute - but I never get away with shit and think I would screw it up.

Someone else told me drink Knudsens Just Cranberry. I bought four bottles, took one today, plan on the other three by end of day tomorrow.

Taking fiber too.

I bought some Clear Flush - 2 bottles. They are telling me to take it 4 hours before with 4 bottles of water - then piss 4-5 times before test.

I am also taking some 500mg B-12s and lots of vitamins.

For me I think it would be worse getting caught cheating than it would to just tell them I am on a medical card and have since changed to other medication.

This is so Fucked! Anyone got some solid ideas?

Conjurer Reviewed by Conjurer on 02-14-2011. What are my best chances of passing a pre-employment test I have a Med Marijuana card, but employers don't have to accommodate, and kind of hard to ask them if they do, heh. I am 6ft - 265 lbs. Been losing weight (30pds since last summer) I smoked since last summer about an ounce a month up through 1/31 - so I am 13 days clean. Been drinking lots of water - 1 gallon + per day - especially the last three days. I have to test on Wednesday... Rating: 5

[Conjurer]

Oh yeah, I have some home test kits they are registering positive.

Shit! I need this job.

Bet there would be another amendment in them Bill of Rights if those founders knew they would have to take a piss to get a job.\!

[Burnt Toast]

Yep. Forget the "detox" potions and cranberry juices because they only serve to dilute the THCA concentration that is present in the bladder. The same thing can be accomplished using just water or any other fluid. In fact, detox products "work" because of the water that youre required to drink with them.

Drinking a bunch of water days before the test is of no help. THC is not water soluble like other types of drugs. Its stored in the fat cells and remain there until the fat cells are burned for energy. Drinking a bunch of fluids will not wash or flush THC from the fat cells like dirt can be washed from a car. Doesnt work that way.
When fat cells burn, the stored THC metabolizes into THCA and is released back into the bloodstream, filtered by the kidneys, and end up in the bladder for the eventual exit. Drinking a bunch of fluids may cause frequent urination, but that does not equal to increased filteration rate. GFR is unaffected by this.
Drinking fluids is only helpful on the day of the U/A. The THCA concentration thats present in the bladder is diluted (thinned out) with the hoping that the concentration was diluted to the point to where the urine sample registers below the cutoff thresholds of the drug screen. The dilution phenomena, however, is only temporary - once the fluids ingested had all been urinated out, a "dirty" donor would resume testing positive for THC.

When utilizing dilution techniques (regardless of configuration) the proper vitamin to use for color is B2 (Riboflavin). Be sure to do your creatine-loading 3 days before the U/A to avoid creatinine levels to take a nosedive (due to large fluid consumption) and cause the sample to be ruled "too-dilute" .

[Conjurer]

Well the dilution at present isn't doing anything for me. I am still positive.

Guess I will try the dilution regimen on the sticky above and see if I am clear tomorrow.

If not I guess I am just going to test positive. Arrghhhh!

[Burnt Toast]

Well the dilution at present isn't doing anything for me. I am still positive.

Dilution techniques in any configuration are not a 100% sure thing. It must be understood that dilution techniques can backfire if the THCA concentration in the bladder is too high. For most heavy users, it would be virtually impossible to dilute that concentration enough without overdiluting and sending up the red flags at the lab.

If you plan on utilizing the N2 Dilution method, be sure to use Gatorade in place of water. Specific gravity is another constituent checked by the labs (as well as creatinine) in determining an overly-diluted sample. Gatorade helps keep satisfactory SG numbers while water consumption decreases SG.

[webdox]

Been drinking lots of water - 1 gallon + per day - especially the last three days.

This won't accomplish a thing other than assuring your bladder still works. You cannot drink tons of water and piss the THC away.

Someone else told me drink Knudsens Just Cranberry. I bought four bottles, took one today, plan on the other three by end of day tomorrow.

Again, this won't accomplish a thing.

I bought some Clear Flush - 2 bottles. They are telling me to take it 4 hours before with 4 bottles of water - then piss 4-5 times before test.

Detox products are a scam. Hope you saved your receipt. Here's dozy of an outright lie right on their home page:

"Clear Flush will successfully purge Marijuana, Cocaine, Methamphetamine, Ecstasy, Opiates, Oxycodone and other illicit drugs."

This is one of the patently ridiculous claims I have ever read on a product description. 150% Bullshit.

I am also taking some 500mg B-12s and lots of vitamins

B-12 won't do a thing. If you do decide to go with dilution you would want to take B2 the day of the test to provide some extra yellow color to your clear urine.

If you follow the dilution sticky and still test positive, substitution is your only option. The medical card is just a big red flag to skip over you and go onto the next applicant who can pee clean. Best of luck.

[Burnt Toast]

"Clear Flush will successfully purge Marijuana, Cocaine, Methamphetamine, Ecstasy, Opiates, Oxycodone and other illicit drugs."

Yep. Nothing but a sales pitch to woo in the credulous and uninformed. If such claims by the manufacturers and shills of these products are to be taken at face value, then Ive got a planet in another solar system thats for sale. Anybody that has done research on THC and how the body processes THC would understand that there is no product, nothing that can permanently rid the body of THC except for time and fat-burning exercise.