Hey there my friend. First, thank you for your service. It is appreciated with deep gratitude. I, too, spent time in the Middle East both in and out of uniform. I, too, came home with PTSD although nothing like some of the guys I see who served in Iraq or Afghanistan. I did 4 years in the West Bank and Gaza during the 1st Intifada. I was there by choice and not in uniform. I later went to work for the state department (security) serving in Jordan, Syria, and Lebanon. In total I spent nearly 15 years in the region. I came back 7 years ago.

Although I saw plenty of shit, I did not serve in a direct combat role and so I thought nothing of PTSD. However, upon return I realized that anger, stress control, anxiety, and detachment were serious issues. I can't tell you anything but I can offer some words of encouragement. You are on the right track. You are taking responsiblity for your condition and treatment. I can tell you that is HUGE. I, too, found the MJ offered serious relief. In fact, I hated the anti anxiety drugs they wanted me to take and now MJ is my primary relief. I had nothing like you are dealing with to be sure. One other avenue that you might explore if you are still in therapy - MDMA. Taken with the right therapist it can do wonders. Unfortunately it is still illegal (except for some research trials) so you will have to explore that underground. But there are therapists out there who are working with it and achieving serious results. Just something to consider.

Keep strong.