Oy, don't know how to say this without sounding insulting, but please understand that is not the spirit or intent behind it, k? Now then, ahem: isn't it sort of conceited for people to believe that an all-powerful & awesome God *needs* anything from us? Such as obedience to a very specific set of regulations? It seems that by attributing such demands to God, we belittle, restrict, & limit the infinite power of the Almighty. This seems rather insulting to God. I absolutely believe in a Higher Power, but it seems that many of the manifestations currently recognized throughout the world serve to bring this Power into a bite-size form with neat rules & regulations. Also, it's of note that religion relies on man-written texts to convey spiritual 'truth'. If these 'truths' were really from God, would a human medium be necessary? Wouldn't they just be engraved in our hearts & souls? I do believe that the Almighty, with infinite power & wisdom, is quite capable of such unquestionable declarations.

Again, not trying to belittle you or your beliefs, just some food for thought. I am sorry to hear of your anguish, & hope for you all the love, peace, & enlightenment one can attain.