Yeah god wants me to be happy, but be happy doing what he has comanded me to do. Its just that I let someone into my life when I really should have avioded those emotions until I am much older. Thjats what god put me here o but I was to busy thinking only about things i want and not the things i was suposed to do.

Thanks guys this is really helping me get things out. I...well when I talk to Luc about it he doesent seem to make any effort to want to be reasonable...we both just dont have the heart to say its over............well in our hearts it burns more than ever. I wish one day he might become a believer too and then we could be together forever but if he does I dont want him to do it for me, I want him to do it for himself and god.

I tried talking to my mom but all she tels me is what I dident want to hear...im not asking her anything about this from now on...life sure is a bitch sometimes!