Quote Originally Posted by cosmoHBK
i want to feel human again
why would you want to do that? if i understand your dilemma correctly, you have managed to strip away the the lonely layers of self and begun to understand the nature of enlightenment. did you expect such a journey to be painless? leaving behind all that now seems important and embracing the larger picture is an arduous task and stumbling upon it accidentally is a happenstance that you obviously weren't ready for.

don't blame the weed, all of that was already in you. the relatively mild properties of weed merely brought to the surface a capacity that exists within us all. consider yourself lucky, it has taken me much harsher hallucinogenics to allow such feelings to surface, and don't worry, these feelings quickly fade without attention if that is what you desire. find some meaning in what you have experienced and hold onto it, you just might become a better person. you have been forced to recognize just how illusory are all those mundane necessities of life. family, friends and lovers are merely pleasant shackles that bind us to that illusion. the larger reality goes far beyond phone numbers and occasional sexual encounters. it is the path we all know is there, but few seldom even bother to seek.