Thanks for responding!!

I know all about the dangers of benzo's.... problem is, I'm already hooked. I've been taking xanax for the last 15+ years but have been able to reduce my usage with the help of cannabis for the last few years. Problem is - a scrip for xanax is legal. My DAD - who was a forensic psychiatrist - is the one who started giving it to me when I was 15 - every other doctor and psychiatrist I've ever seen since has done the same - they've tried to give me other benzos like clonopin and other sleeping meds like ambian but those mess me up waay too much and one doctor once tried to give me an antidepressant - which made me pretty depressed when I wasn't before, so no more of that.

I don't live in a state with legalized mmj. I used to live in NY and while it's not legal there, I had a safe, reliable and steady source. But we just had to move for my husband's job to Chicago and now I'm stuck... I would love trying to grow my own but given my living situation, just don't know if it would be possible

I hate this, I just hate it. I agree with everything you just said about how bad benzo's are....