...and learn to love De Kine 'Erb in proper proportions...

The symptoms you describe are not unknown to other newbs, including mesef.

If you take it slowly, you should be able to get to the point that smoking Our 'Erb doesn't make you paranoid or such. Or, try making proper (cleaned!) cannabutter and making yerself some nice comestibles

I know that my life would be much 'gray-er' without the Beloved Flower...