I had my gallbladder checked awhile ago, all came up negative. Like I said, I believe it was food allergies which were causing most of the problems (combined with IBS) but nobody until this new doctor pointed me in the new direction.

Therapists in my experience have mostly been useless as a means for actually solving my problems directly (though they can help indirectly), and I don't find talking to them too productive if its done too much (though I do have some people to talk to). I do see one now to try to work out some of the issues with my father, because I see them coming up later when I'm older. Long story short, he's still delusional about who I really am, and he listens to anyone 'professional' a lot more than me, so this is a good use for that.

Wasn't aware of the drug rule, will keep that in mind. Anyway yeah, I'd describe my issues as more unconventional...not your typical emotional issues though I did go through that too awhile ago. It's much more existential type depression combined with built up stress over many years which creates this weary. flattened feeling which I just cannot shake no matter what. I have tremendous business skills and I want to get out of Jersey, but I can't get the motivation to do hardly ANYTHING (even though I have my own good business).

That and, the asthma is really getting me down. The opium really doesn't severely mess it up since it is a relatively low dose, but it can irritate it if my breathing is already quite strained, so I have to watch for that. I hear that weed helps with that, brings creative inspiration, helps numb pain, brings a sense of well being, calms nausea a bit, etc. I need all those things, so if weed really does that, it'd be a life saver and just allow me to get my life together until I am in a better position because I feel so stuck now.

I had some really shitty asthma last night, and it was actually my birthday...so I was on a whole bunch of prednisone and oral steroids that made me feel like absolute shit. I just don't want to deal with that any more, and I am tired of going to a zillion doctors and taking so many pills....