New Rule

[XTC]

New Rule: Abstinence pledges make you horny. In a setback for the morals/values crowd, a new eight-year study just released reveals that American teenagers who take virginity pledges wind up with just as many STD's as the other kids. But that's not all. "Taking the pledge" also makes a teenage girl six times more likely to perform oral sex, and four times more likely to allow anal. Which leads me to an important question: where were these pledges when I was in high school?

So, seriously, when I was a teenager, the only kids having anal intercourse, were the ones who missed. My idea of lubrication was oiling my bike chain. If I had known I could have been getting porn-star sex the same year I took Algebra 2 - simply by joining up with the Christian right - I'd have been so down with Jesus, they would have had to pry me out of the pew.

And, let me tell you, there is a lot worse things than teenagers having sex. Namely, teenagers not having sex. Here is something you'll never hear: "That suicide bomber blew himself up because he was having too much sex. Sex, sex, sex, nonstop, all that crazy Arab ever had was sex, and look what happened." But among the puritans here of the 21st century, the less said to kids about sex, the better. Because people who talk about peepees are "potty-mouths."

And so, armed with limited knowledge and believing that regular, vaginal intercourse to be either immaculate or filthy dirty - these kids did with their pledge what everybody does with contracts. They found loopholes. Two of them, to be exact.

Is there any greater irony than the fact that the Christian right actually got their precious little adolescent daughters to say to their freshly-scrubbed boyfriends, "Please, I want to remain pure for my wedding night, so only in the ass... And then I'll blow you, I promise." Well, at least these kids are really thinking outside the box.

XTC Reviewed by XTC on 04-11-2005. New Rule New Rule: Abstinence pledges make you horny. In a setback for the morals/values crowd, a new eight-year study just released reveals that American teenagers who take virginity pledges wind up with just as many STD's as the other kids. But that's not all. "Taking the pledge" also makes a teenage girl six times more likely to perform oral sex, and four times more likely to allow anal. Which leads me to an important question: where were these pledges when I was in high school? So, seriously, Rating: 5

[Belleza666]

LMFAO! that's so fucken funny dude. made me choke on this shitty bud. i'm a teenager and even tho i only have sex with only 1 guy, i was still having porn star sex when i was taking Algebra2 (last yr) lol. oh it's only gotten better. i hate when some of my friends wanna "wait", it's like, what if u die tomarrow, then what? what if u die in the next ten minutes? oh shit, i just thought of a new thread.

[Not Enough Herb]

lol that was fuckin hi-larious

lol im christian and i used to think sex and drugs were wrong lmao. i was an idiot until i met my girlfriends vagina and met ms. maryjane and many other glarious "evil things" as the church called them.

sex rules, fuck abstence lol, just make sure ur weiner doenst go green or if u get a chick pregnant, runnnnnnn!!!!

later

[Looker]

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!

[kyle]

XTC, that's awesome, lol.

[Dragonslayer4200]

yea dude thats cool man i mean i never thought of it that way lmfao@the post.

[tagnamestek]

yeah foo if your gon do a girl that dont know you very well, make sure you give her a fake last name of yours. trust me, my homeboy found out the hard way

[Lulu]

yeah foo if your gon do a girl that dont know you very well, make sure you give her a fake last name of yours. trust me, my homeboy found out the hard way

Oooh, don't you sound like a 'prize catch'

[maryjanemama]

Yay! Sex for everyone! In the kitty only please....thanks.

[amsterdam]

Yay! Sex for everyone! In the kitty only please....thanks.

funny!