I really didn't mean to use that word in the context it was received. All I can do is what I did and go on. I appreciate your post Sandia and your ability to post in a manner of which you did despite your turmoil. It's obvious that many or any got what I was asking and no,I don't feel like going into more detail or explaining it again. You are right about the DOH,very helpful were they can be. You can believe it when I tell you that the people @ NMDOH have saved my life. They've given me help without judging me and they've shown me more compassion than anybody else in the field has. Thanks for the resources posted and be well however you can.