I fell your pain. Like most of us that can not take the pharms and have no access to a more natural or holistic healing. We have to take it on our selves to grow our own meds. Growing is not hard nor really expensive. If I weighed the cost of the pharms agaisnt the MMJ even at high street price I'm still way ahead. And I don't have to put up with the rabble on the street slinging it.

Doctors are there to help but in the end I and I alone decide what I take and what I don't take. I lost my heart doctor because it was his way or the highway, That's why he went to school so long and I didn't. That's what he told me.Then he sent me to have 100,000 dollar sergery. I have no insurance to pay and it put my family in a life long debt. This will not be payed off before I die. Now I'm depressed, as if it was not bad enough. To leave your family debt insted of insurance to help when I'm not there anymore. Now I'm deeply depressed.

well my family doctor now knows what I do and we cannot talk about it because of where we live. But he loves what it has done for me and would like to help others but his hands are tied.

I hope you find the peace you are looking for. Depression is not a easy thing to live with.