Quote Originally Posted by TerribleIdea
I didn't really know where to put this but i thought this should be considered a joke as well so here goes...

I recently found out that The Grow Stores owner (the ones located on federal and colfax) was upset with his lack of profit and teamed up with Hydrofarm to track down his theoretical losses. They found out that resourceful growers were using their connections to order their equipment through garden distribution centers and the like in a completely legal manner. The Grow Store owner ( lets refer to him as Douchy McDoucherstien from now out for ease) was upset that his wall of 400% markup ballasts that was disapearing at an alarming rate wasn't quite going fast enough. I'm talking about selling 400+ ballasts a month and tripling his initial investment. Dont get me wrong. I love to see Capitalism in action, its a disgustingly beautiful thing. The problem is that Douchy McDoucherstien went to hydrofarm to point out that many of the people using the garden centers were using them to supply a garden of an illicitly delicious nature I.E. MMJ growing. He somehow failed to mention that his resourceful institutions have somehow cornered that market through the use of a profound lack of knowledge and his employees affinity for Methamphetamines( how else do they get so shady looking?) Its interesting to me that a store that has been around for it seems like ever is having problems with its gross sales. I wonder if its due to the fact that he taxes the shit out of the consumer while selling the consumer a product supposedly designed for indoor hydroponic tomato growing. Have you seen the tomatoes grown in there store? Besides being infested with spider mites ( "Oh, This bottle of Azatrol at 109.99$ + tax will definetely cure that! MSRP being 106.95$ Price to Douchy being less then $70 Trust me i have his distrubution prices) they look like the retarded baby that would come out of the prom queen and kings consumation of their love, in the back of a Kia, after drinking Mad Dogg 20/20 through the course of her pregnancy. The worst part about it is that Hydrofarm is playing the part of the cliche' dumb older football playing brother, protecting poor Douchy McDoucherstien's precious precious profits. Is this the Communist threat that Joseph McCarthy spoke so scarily about? It seems that if other distrubution centers are fine with selling more product at a reduced price, then they should naturally pull ahead of the capitalistic curve ( Reference McDonalds slightly less then meat Hamburgers and their domination). Hydrofarm sites not wanting to "provide a legal avenue to fund production of illegal substances". Hmmmmmmm, did Romer's Bill include something about MMJ in Colorado once again being illegal? Does Douchy McDoucherstien have an uncanny ability to be able to know which persons using for "illegal" grows and which one is not? If he has, congratulations! Hes smarter then the FBI DEA and CIA combined and should definetely get a job from them locating all these terrorists in the mist.
I hope people realize that both of these companies are participating in illegally blocking a small companies or individuals right to free trade and procurement of product. Does that mean that i shouldn't give medicine to a cancer patient for cheaper to meet their struggling needs? Should I make them go to the streets for medicine because "the streets" have been here longer?
What about everyone thats griping about prices of medicine being to high? I can tell you that anyone looking to start growing is now gonna have an initial start up cost that will be at least 2 to 3 times more expensive through Douchy McDoucherstiens establishment then through a garden center's wholesale. Hmmmmmmmmm, I wonder who that cost will be passed onto? If you want to really start attacking the price of MMJ I would highly recommend looking at the starting point of taxation and to me its seems to be blowing out Douchy's ass along with the rest of the smoke.

Example:

Xtrasun 1000w Convertible Ballast Sku BAC100A:
Douchy:$237.00
Hydrofarm MSRP: $209.95
Wholesale:$106.92

Wow! $20 + dollars over MSRP. You go Douche! Hopefully that extra money will go towards making your workers even sketchier, slower, and stupider.
I guess I'm thick, but I can't figure out what the hell you are talking about. This store owner went to Hydrofarm to get them to do what? And that affects us how?