Wow, I'm gladd you have a good sense of humor though! If you want the plants to do a little better, I suggest tossing the incandescent bulb out of that light & getting a 23w or higher compact fluorescent(says 100 watt equivalent) and put the bulb within 2" of the tops of the plants. Just have fun, read a little, and feel free to "experiment" with different things. My friend swears that windex is the best fertilizer LOL because he saw his plants shoot up like 8" in a day after accidentally pouring it on them...