Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me

[ermitonto]

http://www.allthingsflash.com/links/...ex_than_me.swf

But seriously, everyone has.

ermitonto Reviewed by ermitonto on 04-03-2005. Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me http://www.allthingsflash.com/links/files/cartoons/everyone_has_had_more_sex_than_me.swf :D But seriously, everyone has. :( Rating: 5

[A Foo Says]

Hookers

[EverydayJunglist]

maybe its cuz where your from ermitonto

[kyle]

I've only done it once dude, and neither of us had an orgasm. Smoke until you forget.


BTW she gave me a handjob after so it's all good.

[ermitonto]

Yeah, I came from a place so full of skanks and STDs I wouldn't touch any of the women there with a 10-foot pole (or a 6-inch penis). I'll lose my virginity someday, I don't worry about that, and I've always got my right hand, but I have terrible luck meeting and talking to girls.

[RIP ODB]

Yeah, I came from a place so full of skanks and STDs I wouldn't touch any of the women there with a 10-foot pole (or a 6-inch penis). I'll lose my virginity someday, I don't worry about that, and I've always got my right hand, but I have terrible luck meeting and talking to girls.

I'm no expert on women, in fact I dont think that such a thing exists, but I have been known to swing a few broads and might be able to help out.

This might suck, but...

Try being a little more of a pretty boy. Before you get mad, listen. I saw your picture smokin out of a sobe bottle and you've got long hair. Cut that. Girls don't like it when guys have longer hair than they do. It was cool in the 80's to have long hair, but not really anymore.

Also, when you go out, and you know there are girls around, you can't dress like a hippy stoner, unless you want to bang hippy stoners for the rest of your life. Plus if you dress like a stoner, lots of people will think you're a stoner, which isn't good.

As far as talking to girls, it's nothing, just be yourself. If they don't like it, fuck em. Try to remember that girls are usually just as nervous as guys, so if you can just make simple conversation, that's half the battle.

I didn't mean to shit on you about your hair and hippy stoner attire, but I've seen a lot of your posts and you seem like you can handle the truth. I had to wake up one day and start dressing nice around girls, too.

But PLEASE don't be a pretty boy 24/7. When you're with your boys, just rock out with your cock out man. Good luck to ya.

Peace bro.

-Dirty

[wannagethigh]

I'm no expert on women, in fact I dont think that such a thing exists, but I have been known to swing a few broads and might be able to help out.

This might suck, but...

Try being a little more of a pretty boy. Before you get mad, listen. I saw your picture smokin out of a sobe bottle and you've got long hair. Cut that. Girls don't like it when guys have longer hair than they do. It was cool in the 80's to have long hair, but not really anymore.

Also, when you go out, and you know there are girls around, you can't dress like a hippy stoner, unless you want to bang hippy stoners for the rest of your life. Plus if you dress like a stoner, lots of people will think you're a stoner, which isn't good.

As far as talking to girls, it's nothing, just be yourself. If they don't like it, fuck em. Try to remember that girls are usually just as nervous as guys, so if you can just make simple conversation, that's half the battle.

I didn't mean to shit on you about your hair and hippy stoner attire, but I've seen a lot of your posts and you seem like you can handle the truth. I had to wake up one day and start dressing nice around girls, too.

But PLEASE don't be a pretty boy 24/7. When you're with your boys, just rock out with your cock out man. Good luck to ya.

Peace bro.

-Dirty

I havn't seen what you look like so I'm not gonna make any judgemental comments on that, but overall I agree with what he said above.

I was recently enlightened by an insider (a female) on how to get girls. She said that the most important part is confidence. She said you need to be borderline cocky for many girls to be interested in you. So when you talk dont say things that would make a girl feel sorry for you because although they may feel sorry they wont want to be w/ you.

But just as said above you need to cater to the kinds of girls you will be around. This means hygene and clothing too. Not trying to say don't be yourself, but you gotta give some effort that shows girls you care about urself. I dont know what you look like so i'm just saying this as a general statement.

[Encatuse]

Yeah, it sucks, but you definately need to put on an act to be sexually attractive to girls.

You can make friends with girls by 'just being yourself', but you won't ever be more then friends with her.

Just be cocky, and you're already funny so throw some of that in. Be confident enough to playfully make fun of a girl, but don't hurt her feelings. You can't be 'scared of losing her', or else you've pretty much already lost her.

I hate the game of getting laid, but it's an important game to play if you get bored of masturbating.

[F L E S H]

Yeah, anything's possible with a little confidence. I'm pretty damn far from being the best looking guy around, and I'm a little overweight to boot (225 lbs, 6'0, not much but noticeable...)

Yet, I can say with complete honesty that my girlfriend is the hottest chick I know (even though a few others come close ) and that a lot of guys would do anything to be in my shoes Being yourself is important, cause you don't want to have to put on an act every time you see her, yet confidence is important too, because you don't want to make her feel like your life depends on hers... Walking that fine line is somtimes hard, but it all works out in the end

[ermitonto]

While I am something of a hippy stoner in private, in public people can't tell. I don't act or talk like your stereotypical hippy stoner, and I usually wear polo shirts and jeans so my attire doesn't really give it away either. The only clue is my hair. I know very well that short is what's in hairwise, but I've never been the kind of guy who changes his physical appearance just to conform to the newest standard of cool (which is admittedly probably part of my problem, but I don't want a woman who only wants me because I look cool enough and besides I have had girls compliment me on my hair before).

Let me clarify my problem a little bit. I was the shy, smart, dorky kid all through elementary, middle and high school. I would never talk to anyone who hadn't said anything to me first and the other kids never really showed much interest in me. I had a few friends in elementary and middle school, but some of them moved away and I sort of drifted apart from the rest. In high school there were a few people I talked to more often than the rest but nobody who I would have actually considered a friend.

Of course, with my social life bombing like that, I never dated, never kissed, never did anything like that. I thought everything would change once I could get away from the jerks in my tiny town and started anew, but it didn't. Almost two years into college and I still don't have a single friend here. Again, there are people I talk to and feel obliged to say hi to when I see them, but they're not really my friends since I never see them outside of class. And some of them are even girls, but of course they all have boyfriends.

I've determined that the reason for this is that I don't find myself in a lot of social situations. I don't have any friends because I don't hang out with people, and I don't hang out with people because I don't have any friends. Of course, this must also be the reason I'm not meeting girls. I don't know where to end the cycle. I'm stuck on campus because I don't have a car, and there's no good way to meet people here. They say to join a club but they all look uninteresting to me and I can't even join most of them because the majority are for specialized social groups and I'm a white, heterosexual, non-religious male. Other people tell me to go to parties, but even if I knew where they were on this campus (and it would be difficult to throw one here considering the tiny rooms we have), I still don't know how to handle girls. I mean, I can have a conversation with them and be myself and not freak out and all that, but I can't for the life of me figure out how to get past that. I just can't conceive of a possible way to steer a conversation in that direction. I can talk to girls, joke with girls, be myself, and all that, but that's about it. Every time I've been myself with a woman I've liked, she's never made the first move and I've always been clueless as to how and when.

And even in the crazy scenario that I can develop any sort of relationship beyond friendship with someone, how long is she really gonna keep me? I'm years behind the competition. I have zero experience kissing, dating, being romantic, or anything like that. I'm more than a little eccentric and most of my interests are pretty esoteric, not exactly the kinds of things I think a lot of women have in common with me. And to top it all off, I'm just not that attractive. I just don't see too much hope for me in the near future.

By the way, here's that picture of me...I'd take a better picture of me but I'm too lazy at the moment.