I've heard that even DOT random tests are not observed. But a pre-employment drug test? You have to tell us what kind of job this is, unless you are just busting our chops.

If you are actually serious, then I think your only option is to order a Pissinator IMMEDIATELY and pay whatever it costs to get one day delivery, if that is available. Have you considered the possibility that you just happened to run into some pervert who is pretending he doesn't know the employment screening laws? Really, you need to give us a little more information on this one just to satisfy our curiosity.

Good Luck!