Easy sensi, hardly your place, yet, to lecture on welcoming newbies. Although I agree with the coming off as a dick part, what's more dick than flat out calling someone a dick. Try reading that droopy leaves question a thousand times before you jump to premature judgment.

Gonna need a little more info to diagnose any problems for you, pics would be great. Look in the plant problems forum for the sticky with the troubleshooting form. Copy it and paste your answers up here as a reply and someone will come along and welcome you in the fashion you were hoping for.

Must know temp/humidity, water ph, lights, wattages, things like that or any suggestion will be nothing better than a stab in the dark.

Keep it green bro