I am in no way trying to critisize you or be mean. I just read it and I think your life is really messed up man. I don't think any of your problems will change unless you make them in a major way. I always said to myself if everything is fucked up around me then I would grab all the money I had, some weed, and drive to California. I think you should do something like this. Leave everything behind you that you think would help you. Don't leave the weed cause I really think it would help you/helps you. Just take a few things you would need. Leave a note saying you want to try something out and you will call in a few weeks. I don't know much about your pills, but I would recommend not taking anything that fucks with your head, the pills(if u can) and the dxm. Thats just my plan if things ever get really fucked up. Just go take abreak from life and get shit straight.

-peace