I've been putting off this final BANG to my quitting journal for a while because, well, I couldn't surmise in words what needed to be said.

It's so beyond words, yet we can dilute it enough to create understandable sentences from it.

During my two week break, I've been able to put a lot into perspective. I've seen the shortcomings I need to face, and the compromise I thus need to make. Weed was, at first, a mysterious tunnel into the 'universal intelligence', I'll call it. However, over time (as I'm sure most of you experienced members have noticed), this tunnel becomes darker and darker over time, eventually having no light to chase.

I remember having unreal spiritual experiences from this; ones which shook the foundations of my reality and what I thought was 'real'. This was good, it showed me there was more to life than I had confronted. But the last few months, this spiritual experience has become dull with a sleepy, apathetic, haze of muddied thought. I can't remember of a time where this plant has last given me any supernatural insight I so longed for. This being the case even after a 2 week period of eating strict and exercising well. It just doesn't do it.

This has lead me to the conclusion that this is not a chemical for constant pestering. It's not something you can constantly beg, "More insight, come-on, come-on". This being the fact, I decided to stick to sparse occasional smoking for a different purpose.

Although, strong altered states of mind aren't common anymore, one effect remains. The realization of what is truly important. The Zen feeling of RIGHT NOW. No "problems", per se, but simply "things to solve". And in a busy, hectic life where mind is always trying to get "THERE, not here, I don't want to be here, I want to be THERE... now!", this plant can bring things into perspective quickly and suddenly and for that I am grateful.
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In normal english now:

Weed's cool, but it's not a trip filled with crazy insight. One cool thing it DOES do, is make you forget about dumb problems and see things in perspective. There ARE no problems, just "things to solve". So, I'll cut back my use to reflect that.


THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT N STUFF, GUYS!