Drug test on Tuesday/Wed.

[Scotto8]

Okay so I've been researching very heavily on the subject of passing my UA.

I have read probably the most horrendously funny and unlogical methods to beat a Urinalysis to date.
The last time I beat a Urinalysis, I did the following:

1 Glass Water
1 Glass Cranberry Juice

Repeated this until roughly about .7 Gallons or so of Cranberry juice was gone, and I was pissing like hell. I ended up passing that Urinalysis, as I was hired and never heard anything about it again. I have a very, very important job offer on Tuesday, and I will have 24 hours to beat this urine test on that day. I am wondering, should I take the chance of diluting my urine, or should I just have my girlfriend substitute for me? I read all the sticky's at the top of the page and I have a few questions regarding them.

For substitution, I would have to crotch the condom immediately. I would be waiting from the time I crotch till piss time, approximately 1-2 hours. My girlfriend is clean as far as I know, but I do know she takes some prescription drugs. I do not believe any of them would come up, though. For doing the crotching method, I would assume that if I have to crotch it all the way until I piss in the cup, it should be and maintain body temperature, correct? Or do I need to try and find a 100 degree heating pad to be sure? I need to be able to keep the condom somewhere on my body for about an hour or two, yet keep it body temp so when they check the temp strip on the cup it will yield a good result.

For dilution, I have about 1 gallon of good ole' cranberry juice. I was told there was also a pain killer that can sometimes create false positives - does anyone know which one that is? I'm confused, I don't know if it's advil, aspirin, tylenol...
I will be drinking like I did before, 1 cup of cranberry per 1 cup water. I will also take B-Complex to be sure my piss has a tint to it aswell.

Which method should I take, and if I have any flaws in how I plan to do them someone please correct me. This can literally mean the difference between having a place to live and being on the streets for me. I'm dead if I don't get this job. I have abstained for roughly 2 days now, and before that it was like a week. I am 5'10 185#'s, and eat a lot of junk, in case that helps.

PS-
I had a job offer prior to this and I fucked up the test, all I did was drink 1 gallon of cranberry about 2 hours prior and I came up positive. I'm assuming the 1 gallon lack of water is what did me in? Any help is appreciated, I thank you guys so much for helping out the fellow stoner community:stoned:

And unfortunately, I have to quit for now, until I can get stable again

Scotto8 Reviewed by Scotto8 on 07-31-2009. Drug test on Tuesday/Wed. Okay so I've been researching very heavily on the subject of passing my UA. I have read probably the most horrendously funny and unlogical methods to beat a Urinalysis to date. The last time I beat a Urinalysis, I did the following: 1 Glass Water 1 Glass Cranberry Juice Repeated this until roughly about .7 Gallons or so of Cranberry juice was gone, and I was pissing like hell. I ended up passing that Urinalysis, as I was hired and never heard anything about it again. I have a very, Rating: 5

[killerweed420]

I wouldn't use a condom,they break to easy. Pickup a small travel bottle of shampoo thats 2 to 3 ounces and flush it out thoroughly. Nuke it for about 10 seconds and store it in your crotch. You really need a digital thermometer or something to help make sure the temp is staying correct. I wouldn't use anyones urine that is on prescriptions. Some will show a false positive for other things and then you have to explain to MRO why you're positive for something you don't have a prescription for. Subbing with synthetic urine would be much better.
Dillution depends on how much you've smoked over the last month or so. If its just a blunt or 2 a week dillution may work but you really should test yourself at home to be sure. If the jobs important to you spend a couple bucks to insure you get it.

[Scotto8]

I wouldn't use a condom,they break to easy. Pickup a small travel bottle of shampoo thats 2 to 3 ounces and flush it out thoroughly. Nuke it for about 10 seconds and store it in your crotch. You really need a digital thermometer or something to help make sure the temp is staying correct. I wouldn't use anyones urine that is on prescriptions. Some will show a false positive for other things and then you have to explain to MRO why you're positive for something you don't have a prescription for. Subbing with synthetic urine would be much better.
Dillution depends on how much you've smoked over the last month or so. If its just a blunt or 2 a week dillution may work but you really should test yourself at home to be sure. If the jobs important to you spend a couple bucks to insure you get it.

Well as far as the condom goes, it would be a trojan obviously. I've yet to ever have one break during sex much less the probability of one breaking in my crotch. As far as the travel bottle thing, I can get one of those easily, but the only thing is keeping it at the right temp. Since it's hard plastic, I would assume heating it up and keeping it body temperature would be a very hard thing to achieve. I have the test on tuesday or wednesday, I am going tonight to get the materials necessary. I talked to my girlfriend and she told me the only prescrip. she is on is Ocella, which is birth control.

So at walmart I will be picking up a pack of non-lubed trojan condoms, a travel shampoo bottle, and a human digital thermometer.
I am assuming this is the type of thermometer I am going to need?


Also, sticking it between the bottom of my sack and my anus is where I want to tuck it, right?

I plan to probably do not only the dilution method but the sub method just incase something with the sub method does not go correctly. I am just scared about keeping the bottle at body temperature, if I don't I'm fucked.

I've been smoking pretty much everyday up until about a week and a half ago. I abstained for 1 week, then smoked about 1 gram 2-3 days ago and haven't touched it since.

[killerweed420]

Well as far as the condom goes, it would be a trojan obviously. I've yet to ever have one break during sex much less the probability of one breaking in my crotch. As far as the travel bottle thing, I can get one of those easily, but the only thing is keeping it at the right temp. Since it's hard plastic, I would assume heating it up and keeping it body temperature would be a very hard thing to achieve. I have the test on tuesday or wednesday, I am going tonight to get the materials necessary. I talked to my girlfriend and she told me the only prescrip. she is on is Ocella, which is birth control.

So at walmart I will be picking up a pack of non-lubed trojan condoms, a travel shampoo bottle, and a human digital thermometer.
I am assuming this is the type of thermometer I am going to need?


Also, sticking it between the bottom of my sack and my anus is where I want to tuck it, right?

I plan to probably do not only the dilution method but the sub method just incase something with the sub method does not go correctly. I am just scared about keeping the bottle at body temperature, if I don't I'm fucked.

I've been smoking pretty much everyday up until about a week and a half ago. I abstained for 1 week, then smoked about 1 gram 2-3 days ago and haven't touched it since.

With 2 ounces usually 10 seconds in the microwave will get it in the 98 degree neighbourhood. QF comes in a hard plastic bottle with a temp strip on the side. STick it behind your nuts and with me it stays around 98 for a couple hours. Practice with the thermometer to get it right. You can stick the thermometer in your sock to double check at the UA. If its a little low when you pour it into the sample cup rub your thumb against your clothes for a couple seconds then hold your thumb against the temp strip on the collection cup. When it hits 98 walk out of the room.