Well, I've made it through this week so far... I had a job interview yesterday, and I'm sooo thankful we sat outside... The program coordinator was such a nice guy, VERY hot with beautiful dreadlocks. It was the first time I've been able to leave the house in many days. I have a final exam today, and a job evaluation on Friday, so once those two are gone, it might be a bit easier to relax; I haven't slept in 3 days, and before that, very spotty sleep.

I think I might know what's bothering me... I'm getting ready to transfer to a university, one that's in an area I am VERY VERY familiar with, it would involve commute. I shouldn't be anxious at all, but I think back to the time when I was a freshman at an out of state school- the same thing happened, though, to a lesser extent.

On the outside, I don't really feel nervous about going to this new school; I want to finally finish my degree, but I think maybe internally, I fear I'm going to fail as badly as I did the first time. I'm definitely daunted by all of the more logical courses I have to take (FOUR chemistries, two calculus classes, and two physics) because I have dyscalclia, and numbers alone just really frustrate me.

I think I have a lot of things to uncover; I hide practically all of my emotions and interests from my family for fear of embarrassment; I have dozens of books on Richard Feynman, Milton Erickson, and for some reason, it would embarrass me if they found out. When I have a boyfriend, I am practically unable to show emotion, either love or excitement because my family's never really seen me express those feelings, and they would think it's odd. I don't know. There are just so many factors influencing each other, and I just want to get them straightened out because it's so frustrating.
Purple Banana Reviewed by Purple Banana on . Another anxiety post Over the past 4 months, I've recently had a huge surge of anxiety attacks, related to a recurrence of my generalized anxiety disorder, unprovoked, and mutually exclusive of my chronic pain. I saw a psychiatrist today, who prescribed Abilify until the next session in two weeks. I've been an absolute emotional wreck today, with no period of cessation between anxiety attacks, and a panic attack. I know looking for a quick fix-it-all is very unreasonable, but I just need something, whether it's Rating: 5