Actually, I was just quoting Alfred Hitchcock. Some writer asked him his favorite sports, and he responded totally deadpan without missing a beat: chess and wife-beating.

I was just a lad, but it made a beverage come out my nose.

Maybe there's a graphics program I can find to print myself a board and pieces. I know how the pieces move. That's about it. Maybe the Kevorkian Gambit, or the Heimlich Ploy. Nothing formal.

I also insist on being able to upset the board on your end if things get too grim for me. Whoops! Didn't mean to knock everything over! (Of course, you'll have to assist...) :rastasmoke: