Calling out to DreadedHermie for a game of "stoner chess"

[Weezard]

R - Q2

That, or sacrifice a piece.

I'm probably overthinking these moves, looking for solutions that just aren't there.

Over, or under, not sure which.
On my board that would lose a pawn to my knight and threaten the rook again.
I do have a dog and a cat so...

Weeze