To the OP:

There isn't anything that will change your confidence (or lack thereof) and self esteem overnight. You'll have to work on it. Accomplish some-thing important to yourself. It may be as simple as washing the dishes. Then do it again. It may take years.

Been there. Oftentimes I return like a sick animal to a mode of thinking that I just abhor. Then it feeds upon itself. I can really work myself into a state. I've learned this and recognize when it is happening and now attempt to get myself out of it immediately before I get too miserable...LOL

Many that know would tell you I'm the most confident person they've ever met. I can do things few can do. Still I have some esteem issues. Crippling PTSD with intimate relationships. I keep waiting for things to change in that area, but realize that I've done nothing at all! Why would it change then? But I'm older now and not as concerned about as I once was, but my errors are plain to me.

As perfect as any man- which is to say I'm full of defects and flaws but astounding potential too. I do not have to make the perfect grade or be like anyone else- just live my life without causing harm to others. I fail in that regard too from time to time...

I'd say I'm reasonably happy. Isn't this enough?