Quote Originally Posted by devils dream
I'm confident in the sense I work hard and get shit done. I'm confident about my looks, I'm confident that I can survive and I'll always fight.

When it comes to people, especially starting a conversation for my own self-enjoyment, I'm not confidant at all. I just have terrible anxiety around people I don't know. QUOTE]

its taken me ten minutes to try and start this reply, just thinking over the things you've specified and i wanted to agree with you somewhere that i'm confident at this or that but i just cant, i'd love to say i'm confident that i can survive and i'll all ways fight, i have some belief in that sense but i dont feel confident about it, i wonder how long i can keep it up, how long can i fight?

how long can anyone function like a machine getting up everyday doing the same things because new things are to daunting, repeating the same daily routine without some random activities, i'm 24 and should be having fun as a young woman and as a young mum, trouble is i'm not me anymore i am just mum, nothing else really goes on in my life and i'm too scared to break out of the way things are incase they just get worse.
i've spent 2 years proving to social services that i am a capable caring mother who loves, cares for and protects her children all because a boyfriend who liked picking fights with me, now its as if i spent so long proving myself that i dont even know what i want any more or who i am just me as a mum, how can i rediscover me as a person and rebuild my own self confidence?
It sounds like you need a break and to change up your routine a bit. It's tough being young and having kids because you want to let loose. You don't have to do anything outrageous, enjoy the simple things in life is a start.

I can see you have a bit of fight in you. But remember, the fight is the battle to be calm, not a fire fight.

Things will get better.