HOW CONFIDENT ARE YOU?

[Spoken Word]

I'm pretty confident. What's the worst that could happen? You make a complete fool of yourself over your beliefs? lol I'll take it. Just be mature, you'll be alright.

[Doobee]

I had a good post here with something of value said about real depression.

But alas.... this site lacks good managership and the timed-out phase as usual crapped the post and signing back in to try and post again didn't work as it should have.

Then there's the posts which never do show up and should.

And the posts that will not show in a thread as they should.:wtf:

Add the vile foul mouthed, stoned kids who never learned better to put a diaper on their face and what's up with the lack of respect for those many who are here to get help and learn.

No wonder why there's such a negative stigma associated with cannabis.

Such foul mouthed, ignorant potheads with the mentality of a gnat who's vocabulary is riddled with diarrhea making the efforts more difficult than ever need be.

After researching and following the successes of Rick Simpson and his many patients and the novel idea of another beneficial poster to make concentrated THC oil from a pen and Ronson butane, I was able to cure the cancer lesions on my face...in FIVE DAYS!

No follow up posts and no offers in the way of thanks or helpful support or even suggestions to enable further successes.

To those guilty of rude manners, atleast clean up the diarrhea mouths and put a diaper on your faces when compelled to post.

Many people come here to investigate and learn about the many benefits of medical cannabis.

Get with it folks and be mindful that these many visitors and new members are seeking help and information about how they too might benefit by using cannabis as a medicine and not just some pathetic excuse to be stoned day in and out, day after day.

Albeit there are many here who are respectful of others and are as helpful as they know how...there are those who only blather out the stench they think is sooooo cool.

If I am the only one who feels like this about the lack of decency, respect and management of this site then I will go away and let ya all be.

[bhouncy]

â??He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to haveâ?�
Socrates

I focus daily morning and night on what makes me happy. Sure there is shit happens but I shrug it off. When something happens that may be perceived as negative people around me say stuff like "You must feel terrible". Well no. I feel great because I have my family. I'm doing what I love and no matter what happens there is always something positive in my life no matter how small.

[thcbongman]

I'm confident in the sense I work hard and get shit done. I'm confident about my looks, I'm confident that I can survive and I'll always fight.

When it comes to people, especially starting a conversation for my own self-enjoyment, I'm not confidant at all. I just have terrible anxiety around people I don't know. QUOTE]

its taken me ten minutes to try and start this reply, just thinking over the things you've specified and i wanted to agree with you somewhere that i'm confident at this or that but i just cant, i'd love to say i'm confident that i can survive and i'll all ways fight, i have some belief in that sense but i dont feel confident about it, i wonder how long i can keep it up, how long can i fight?

how long can anyone function like a machine getting up everyday doing the same things because new things are to daunting, repeating the same daily routine without some random activities, i'm 24 and should be having fun as a young woman and as a young mum, trouble is i'm not me anymore i am just mum, nothing else really goes on in my life and i'm too scared to break out of the way things are incase they just get worse.
i've spent 2 years proving to social services that i am a capable caring mother who loves, cares for and protects her children all because a boyfriend who liked picking fights with me, now its as if i spent so long proving myself that i dont even know what i want any more or who i am just me as a mum, how can i rediscover me as a person and rebuild my own self confidence?

It sounds like you need a break and to change up your routine a bit. It's tough being young and having kids because you want to let loose. You don't have to do anything outrageous, enjoy the simple things in life is a start.

I can see you have a bit of fight in you. But remember, the fight is the battle to be calm, not a fire fight.

Things will get better.

[psychocat]

You are a good person, I KNOW THIS !
You know that I believe we can all be what we choose to be and the assumption that we can't is all that ever holds us back.

Be tough on those who try to hold you down and welcome those who make you feel free.

No giving in and don't ever let the bastards grind you down.

Thinking of you. :thumbsup:

Oh and by the way
I'm an arrogant son of a bitch and never lack confidence.

[The Great Wave]

I too have had to deal with feelings of lack of confidence, depression and still do to this day. In fact i'm currently taking a few day hiatus of my goals to re-focus myself and my confidence levels. I sometimes get so involved with my own pursuits that I forget to think.

But what I have found really helps me is trying to ask myself why i feel this way and what I need to do to change this. Like you said in your post, It is a state of mind. and it literally is. A little under a year ago I started to look more into Philosophy, which I recommend to anyone that feels confused, unsure, or overwhelmed with life. By doing this I've opened myself up to a wider range of thinking and a better inner dialogue with myself that allows me to contemplate my life, surroundings and what direction I am heading in with a better understanding of what life truly is.

Many of us get bogged down with the ins-and-outs of everyday life in a 3 dimensional world. But their is so much more to life that, for some of us, we never uncover. I know that sounds vague, but from my own personal experience I know what that simple sentence means.

My suggestion, which helped me, is to start looking for answers to your questions.

I was lacking confidence, and i feel this was because I was so unaware of things. Upon looking for answers it lead me to quantum mechanics, partical physics, metaphysics, epistemology, philosophy and now, as of late, string theory (or M theory). Now I look at the world in a whole different way.

ps. bhouncy I like that Socrates quote, I will be adding that to the daily quotes I tell myself through out the day to help reaffirm my thoughts and goals

[devils dream]

You are a good person, I KNOW THIS !
You know that I believe we can all be what we choose to be and the assumption that we can't is all that ever holds us back.

Be tough on those who try to hold you down and welcome those who make you feel free.

No giving in and don't ever let the bastards grind you down.

Thinking of you. :thumbsup:

Oh and by the way
I'm an arrogant son of a bitch and never lack confidence.

well i havent given up yet and dont see myself as a quitter which is something and as for social services i finally made the grade and they have now closed my case so i guess if i managed to over come some of the huge difficulties then a few more small ones wont hurt too much, i now know that my confidence isnt what it once was but at least i know i wont just accept it, i will find a way to change things i just dont know how yet.

and cat i wish i had your arrogant confidence x

[415plus5]

whenever i go somewhere new or go somewhere where there are many people i dont know, i just keep in mind that all those people have no idea who you are. act and feel the way you want because those other people have no idea what you are all about. if you put yourself out there the way you want to be seen, then that is how you will be seen, they dont know your history or anything. who knows your acting a different way than you normally would have?

another thing i like to keep in mind is that if you feel like you are going to embarrass yourself, or if you are, who cares? really. your never going to see these people again in your life, and they are probably too busy thinking about how they look and portray themselves.

thats how i get through my day. hope this helps

I had to edit this to say this b/c it is important... smoke a blunt and slap some of your favorite music. music that makes you feel good and how you would feel when you are not depressed. this really helps

[painretreat]

When I was your age I was too confident in life! Everything was a definite yes or no, this or that, black or white==I discovered Grey! A lot of live is grey. That sent me to years of self help groups, psychotherapy, psychiatrist and read more self help and informational books than my therapist did for a Master's in helping! I've had medication, you name it.

The self help groups, 12-steps are a model to help improve you situation. You were in some sort of co-dependenta relationship that you allowed yourself to stay in a negative relationship that took you under the dirt one fight at a time. Until you no longer fought for yourself!! I did that for 17 years! My self-confidence really sucks now. I am confident in the things that I know for a fact and my field of work! But, life--no-one really has the right answer for you. But, there are many that will help and work!

The fact you've acknowledged it and want to do something is a very big first step and you are on the right track. I question what your panic attacks are being treated with, as I know that med. you mentioned can actually cause panic attacks (not in everyone, but I have seen it first hand).

You have children and they are your first concern. If you can't take care of yourself from bad relationships, protect your children. I find, I can stand up and try to kick some ass if I see children being abused, even at the risk of my own life. It is your and all adults job to protect them. That gets your knickers in a twist, cause you need it first and now. That is what a mother does though, kids first.

When your children witness violence, it makes them a victim of violence and will effect their lives. Now, that you know you need to protect them. Protect yourself from these mean-spirited people that drag you down. If allowed, your children will elevate you and make you feel like the most important person in the world to them, because you are and until they become teen-agers, they won't be so down on you. If you are lucky, they never will be. It is difficult to balance a decent relationship, new ones and keep your children feeling they are the most important thing in the world to you.

Particularly, when you don't feel important to yourself. It takes a lot of work and practice. One brilliant man once said,' Fake it til you make it!" Bradshaw (I think). If you don't elevate yourself above everyone else and don't act like you are dirt under anyone's feet, that is a start! You have to stand up for yourself and remind yourself daily, 'I am going to keep the good things of today and let the rest go!" Don't dwell on the bad, evaluate and if you feel you did something wrong--apologize and make amends, and do better next time. It takes a real grown up to do that. Most people can't apologize for wrong-saying or doing! I believe, that is what makes us human and mature! part of it anyway!

Unfortunately, many cannot do that and may falsely elevate you to a standard they can't even achieve and there comes the rub! Bottom line, you have to live with yourself--no one else. All the time, it matters how you treat and feel about yourself. Decide who you want to be and be that person!

If you need some help, therapy, self-help group, etc. Seek it out. At the very least, some good books on self help. Provided you don't have other avenues.

People, like Rush LImbaugh are extremely confident--you've heard about him and you'll have to decide that we all have flaws, even he does. He may now admit them, since he has been 'caught'. But, he believe's his thoughts, etc. are perfect and the way of the world. That is as bad as feeling as you do! Don't use people like that and judge yourself against them.

Don't take yourself so seriously. Laugh at yourself. Admit when you are wrong and just do better next time. As said, don't lie, cheat or steal; be a good person and the rest follows, with a bit of effort. It takes time, be patient with yourself.

First time I used a swear word at work, half my staff dropped their jaws in disbelief. For me, I decided to break out of my shell of First Southern Baptist confirmation of beliefs and behavior. I regret, I missed a lot of life due to it (maybe some more cannabis).

Dont' think as what someone says as the law and absolutely correct. Sometimes, there is no right answer, accept it and let it go! Living in grey area of life isn't the worse thing in the world. But, you won't want to sit on the fence all the time.

I read posts here when there is a feud going on and I can see both sides of the argument. Often, I cannot choose, but I don't have to. So, give yourself a break and take a holiday from whatever it is you don't feel confident about the choice or can't decide, it is O.K.! Learn to love yourself. People that are the most beautiful people in the world, often feel like the ugliest and they just can't see it! You are not alone. You may not see your fine and wonderful qualities. Start looking. If you aren't in jail, your children are doing well as they can for their ability and you are, as well! Celebrate your coping! You manage to get through social services and keep your children, that is a major attribute you have! You must be a pretty good person to go through all that.

Pick yourself up and hopefully, you will be a very good example for your children. You never know for sure, you have to follow your feelings. Are you in touch with your feelings? Or, did they get hidden during the bad relationship. It is sad how people do that to others and treat them badly--with no guilt of how horrible and long term damage they are doing emotionally to others. My father was that way, mean, violent and cruel and a know it all. Problem is, when I got some education I realized he was a Hitler. My mother was a close second. I grew up thinking, "I can hardly wait until I am 21, then I will know it all!" I was so disappointed, I did not and still do not. Everything is a decision and what is right for one person may not be for another. So, I like the 10 commandments as a rule of common human decency to live my life by. I think that is the best example we can have about ourself. When others fail short, I don't judge them, I realize, they will 'grow up' one day and do better and pray for them.

Whatever S.O.B. took advantage of your love did not deserve it and I hope you know it. Please don't be so hasty in the future and make sure you have a nice caring person, for you and your children.

People can't do to you what you won't let them and today, start making that choice.

As WH said, you have a lot to pat yoursefl on the back for and do it daily! may not seem like much, but it is a big deal for you. The positive re-inforcement will free you to expound in other areas for the same. Be open minded. If you are ridiculed, ask what, why and how to do it different? Doesn't mean they are right, but when they tell you; you will realize, they are right or yanking your chain playing head games! Don't assume everyone is right except you. I use to believe what people say, because, why would they lie to me over nothing? Guess what?

My confidence level as a result of years of abuse. I am taking time for me now and healing! as prev. said. I have little expectations of myself and am allowing me this time to take inventory of the good in me and correct the bad.

I've always thought that my behavior should be something I would do in front of my mother, boss, a child and/or significant other. Plus, if I don't want it published in the paper, I refrain!

Most people that are too confident are too rich and can 'purchase it right!' Dont' judge yourself against others. Just yourself and what you desire! A good Mom!!

If you have to force yourself, you know you are depressed and there are other meds or a great Sativa to help you. Problem is, whatever you use for it, has to be done regularly. Not, just when you feel you need it. When you are feeling well, keep taking your meds. That just means they are working and you have the right dose!

Last year I cried every evening for no apparent reason, except I had a very large burden lifted. No more being yelled at 24/7. No more saying, "Do what you want, you will anyway." I now have 2 friends in my state and 2 in other states, of which I've had for over 30 years each. I stay in touch with them and feel lucky to be in such good company. My 2 in state friends are twins. They give me that little boost I really need. Example: Today I called their mom and no answer. Called my friend, and she was in hospital. I was told it was family only and the password to get in to see their mom. I've always been treated like family by Mom and the twins. When I kissed 87 yr. old mom on the forehead and told her I love her, Mom said, "Thanks, I needed to hear that!" Little things like that is what make us have more confidence. I have a great deal of respect for this woman. Over educated and college grad. More stimulating conversation than anyone. But, she has told me, over the years, the things my mom should have! Family and closeness is where you find it!

When I get as down as you, it seems my Arkansas friend will call out of the clear blue sky and say, "I need you in my life, so you need to take better care of yourself!" Hopefully, you family is and can be more supportive of you.

Depression sucks and medication alone is not the answer, our minds are complicated. Cannabis helps, but is not a cure! It helps you get in the frame of mind to do something about it (sativa). I found this more helpful than that pill you take, which I did for years! If it isn't working and you want to remain with that line of treatment, request something that will work. I was on 5 different ones. I just can't take them due to side effects-so mmj here I am. Today, for the first time in about 5 years or more, my Dr. actually saw me laugh! I attribute it to mmj, cannacom (the support and friends I hope I've made here) and doing things I WANT TO DO. I was doing what someone else wanted for so long, I no longer knew what I wanted to do . Until I went fishing 2 years ago! I started re-discovering myself and what I like!

I am sure there is so much more to your story, but this is what has helped me and I am still working on it. Life is a daily effort for those that have been oppressed!

You are starting over and have 3 wonderful reasons to do what makes you feel good doing it! Smile at other people, it is contagious and makes you feel better! Even when strangers. I was a few mos ago. Smiled at a man with eye contact. He stopped me and said, "Thanks, I needed that and what a pretty smile!" I doubt I have that pretty of a smile, but when you are blue, any smile directed at you feels good! Give what you want! Then it will come to you.

Look for and exhibit the traits you love and it will come to you. You ain't a bad person or you wouldn't even give a second thought to your feelings and doing better!

Since, your children went thru the relationship with you, it may be that they need a little uplifting and perhaps a bit of help too, to get through it and be survivors of the abuse. With help, you will recognize it before it attacks you in the future. I had 10 good years and then all of a sudden the person I was living with changed, like over-night! Then I spent years hiding in my bedroom. The person became ill with life threatening illness and I attributed it to that and made excuse's etc. By not walking out the door, I screwed myself financially big time and am working on that now. And it was just a business partner! Can you imagine. Ends up there was embezelment, etc. and I cannot even be the person responsible for discovering it!

I am not confident in my looks, my achievements (can always be better) or much else. I am confident in the fact that I know, I will always do the right thing and not beat someone when they are already down or give them problems they don't need! I am confident, if I do the wrong thing, I will realize it or have it pointed out to me and I will make every attempt to make it right and apologize for what I did, no excuse's! Live and learn.

Paranoid, when the football team huddles on the field, I am sure they are talking about me!! I now know, I am not that important!
If I drive 10 miles to the bank and on my way home I see an accident, I worry, did I cut that person off and cause that accident! I lived my life in the rear view mirror. Now, I look forward and not backward!

I have learned so much through all my books, 12-steps for better mental behavior, therapist's and my shrink. It is a life long process for a lot of us. I plan my break-downs and take the rest and isolation I need. Right now, I need the opposite and am doing things to conquer that.

I know what I am suppose to do and what is more acceptable, but the application is not always that easy. It takes thought, most of the time and somethings just come quick and effortless. Mental balance is a balancing act and takes work for a lot of us! No one is perfect and you won't be either. Accept yourself the way you are. Love yourself the way you are. Embrace yourself for who ou are. Move on from there!

Pretty much, this is what I do and work at and will until I die! Unless, my mmj level gets to the perfect one and it just takes over. As, some depression is hereditary (runs in my bloodline) and there is nothing you can do about it, except, deal with it. Which you are. God Bless YOu and prayers your way with this battle.

I do feel there are things you may not be saying which are just as important as what you did! In a forum like this, it is a bit difficult and I am sure I have written a book, for which I apologize. It is not a yes and no question. The answer is a bit different for everyone!

Take care and :jointsmile: An interesting post and will follow! Thank you!:thumbsup:

[Purple Banana]

I had a lot of problems with depression towards the end of high school; I think it was attributed to the sudden onset of fibromyalgia, and my inability to deal with it.

Now, I am very confident in who I am, and what I do, because I tend to look at the bigger picture rather than worry about the small things. I find I get better responses from myself and people surrounding me if I do something stupid or clumsy, then laugh about it instead of being embarrassed and trying to hide the mistake. Humans will be humans, and I embrace that. It took a while to learn to love who I am, but now I can appreciate all I've gone through and what I've learned from my mistakes.