Quote Originally Posted by mjmomma
Well, yes, I do think that the military school would be a bit harsh, and also expensive for the mother. There is a father figure, but the mom runs the roost. The boy is now doing home schooling online, hopefully it will work out for them.
And I can't agree with you more on the fact that children, boys especially, it seems, need to be physically disciplined. My son is the same age as the boy we're discussing, and he doesn't act that way. Maybe it's b/c my son has had an ass whipping a time or two? I'm not sure. Like I said in my original post: It's a very tense situation.

Another thing: my husband and I are debating weather or not to cut off contact with this other family. We have a teenager of our own and although we've been honest with him about the legal, physical, metaphysical, and spiritual effects of MJ, we don't want him to be around it with other teens. Are we hypocrites? Or, rather, just trying to give our boy the best possible education?
It sounds to me like the reason your son is more well behaved is that you give him a good deal of respect. If he is not already smoking cigarettes or drinking it's most likely because you've educated him respectfully, and not dictatorially, of the adverse affects of this kind of behavior. It is for this reason that I would advise you not cut off contact with the other family to keep your son away from another kid his age who is doing something that you don't approve of. This kind of action is only going to promote your son to see you as controlling his life and his options, and not trying to let him make the correct informed decision for himself. It was when I was fifteen that my mother found out I was smoking, but she decided to let me smoke as much as I wanted and with her instead of reprimanding my actions. This is, in my opinion, one of the best things that has ever happened in regards to my relationship with my mother, and it gave me much more respect for her, in that I was no longer viewing her as a dictator, and I no longer had anything to hide anything from her. Although I think I was more mature at fifteen than most of my peers, this has strongly influenced my opinion of how a child should be raised. I think that if you raise a child to be able to make the right decision, and then don't let them make their own decisions, it will only influence them to make the wrong decision. The fact is, that a child is going to decide for themselves, regardless of what you want for them, and letting them know that you trust them and have faith in their ability to decide based on the information they have, is the best way to let their independence blossom.