Well, yes, I do think that the military school would be a bit harsh, and also expensive for the mother. There is a father figure, but the mom runs the roost. The boy is now doing home schooling online, hopefully it will work out for them.
And I can't agree with you more on the fact that children, boys especially, it seems, need to be physically disciplined. My son is the same age as the boy we're discussing, and he doesn't act that way. Maybe it's b/c my son has had an ass whipping a time or two? I'm not sure. Like I said in my original post: It's a very tense situation.

Another thing: my husband and I are debating weather or not to cut off contact with this other family. We have a teenager of our own and although we've been honest with him about the legal, physical, metaphysical, and spiritual effects of MJ, we don't want him to be around it with other teens. Are we hypocrites? Or, rather, just trying to give our boy the best possible education?