seriously tense

[mjmomma]

Well, yes, I do think that the military school would be a bit harsh, and also expensive for the mother. There is a father figure, but the mom runs the roost. The boy is now doing home schooling online, hopefully it will work out for them.
And I can't agree with you more on the fact that children, boys especially, it seems, need to be physically disciplined. My son is the same age as the boy we're discussing, and he doesn't act that way. Maybe it's b/c my son has had an ass whipping a time or two? I'm not sure. Like I said in my original post: It's a very tense situation.

Another thing: my husband and I are debating weather or not to cut off contact with this other family. We have a teenager of our own and although we've been honest with him about the legal, physical, metaphysical, and spiritual effects of MJ, we don't want him to be around it with other teens. Are we hypocrites? Or, rather, just trying to give our boy the best possible education?

[FreshNugz]

Well I know this is late, but..
I think it can be taken as hypocritical. You said your son doesn't act like that..have you noticed the same things? Does he smoke cigarettes and steal your booze?
Honestly I'd agree with your perception that this boy is getting away with a bit too much. When I was 15 I didn't fully understand the love/caring that my parents were giving me...or how much I'd depend on that the rest of my life. Most 15 year olds don't realize this..
The first thing I thought when reading about the other boy bringing his stash down from his room with his pipe, was that if it were me and my parents let me go upstairs and bring down my stash to give, i'd give em a couple grams while I had an ounce or more upstairs...catch the drift?
You don't have to go all fascist on them, but you at least might want to watch him give you the stash? I'd say that's only smart.
For all she knows there's a ton of stuff up there with it. And most likely more than the bit he handed over.
Just two cents.

[420_24/7]

Well, yes, I do think that the military school would be a bit harsh, and also expensive for the mother. There is a father figure, but the mom runs the roost. The boy is now doing home schooling online, hopefully it will work out for them.
And I can't agree with you more on the fact that children, boys especially, it seems, need to be physically disciplined. My son is the same age as the boy we're discussing, and he doesn't act that way. Maybe it's b/c my son has had an ass whipping a time or two? I'm not sure. Like I said in my original post: It's a very tense situation.

Another thing: my husband and I are debating weather or not to cut off contact with this other family. We have a teenager of our own and although we've been honest with him about the legal, physical, metaphysical, and spiritual effects of MJ, we don't want him to be around it with other teens. Are we hypocrites? Or, rather, just trying to give our boy the best possible education?

It sounds to me like the reason your son is more well behaved is that you give him a good deal of respect. If he is not already smoking cigarettes or drinking it's most likely because you've educated him respectfully, and not dictatorially, of the adverse affects of this kind of behavior. It is for this reason that I would advise you not cut off contact with the other family to keep your son away from another kid his age who is doing something that you don't approve of. This kind of action is only going to promote your son to see you as controlling his life and his options, and not trying to let him make the correct informed decision for himself. It was when I was fifteen that my mother found out I was smoking, but she decided to let me smoke as much as I wanted and with her instead of reprimanding my actions. This is, in my opinion, one of the best things that has ever happened in regards to my relationship with my mother, and it gave me much more respect for her, in that I was no longer viewing her as a dictator, and I no longer had anything to hide anything from her. Although I think I was more mature at fifteen than most of my peers, this has strongly influenced my opinion of how a child should be raised. I think that if you raise a child to be able to make the right decision, and then don't let them make their own decisions, it will only influence them to make the wrong decision. The fact is, that a child is going to decide for themselves, regardless of what you want for them, and letting them know that you trust them and have faith in their ability to decide based on the information they have, is the best way to let their independence blossom.

[denialisback]

I smoke daily.
My good friend, whom I will refer to as Miss Jane, also smokes daily. We get along well because of the bud culture, we both have 15 y/o sons who are only children, and we like the same types of music and poetry. We're best friends.

Well, the other day she called me and was very upset, asking me to come over and talk with her.

The night prior, her son admitted to her that he smokes. She handled it OK, and asked if he had anything illegal in his bedroom, and if so, he needed to get rid of it and she advised him to stop smoking until he was out of school.

I think she handled it quite well. She knows he still going to smoke, but she isn't going to condone it, nor will she police it.

Then, the kid brought down his stash and a small glass bowl. She made him put it on her desk and they all went to bed. By the next morning, it was gone, she asked her son where it was, and he casually told her: "Oh, I took it to sell it to my friend."

WHAAAAAAT!!!!???!
Does anyone else think that this is crossing the line? I mean: the boy could get arrested for this behavior. It could easily effect the rest of his life in a very negative way. Aside from all the social labeling, he could possibly have a permanent legal record and get college apps rejected on that basis. How do you tell your experimenting kids that it's better to smoke than to get alcohol or cigs or pills, but you better not BUY it.

I really feel horrible for my friend and I have no idea of what to tell her. Any advice from you, Dear Reader, is greatly appreciated.

sounds a bit like me, I turned out SHIT! na only kidding,

More like that lil kid took his shit back smok it and then played innocent hahaha

like I said, a bit like me "give me that shit back - so i can smok it!" In my experience this is what kids are like at that age, some adults are like that loll! What can we say? Goodluck with it and try not to worry too much we were all that age, and probly doing the same shit, right, right??


Peace,
Denial

PS: sorry just re-read what you said after your first post, it sounds more complicated and what i just said might seem insensitive.. I'd agree sorry !! but but but, when dealing with 15 year olds, it's hard to take it/them seriously!!!

[devils dream]

Your friend really needs to make sure her son understands what it is he's doing and what impact that could have on his future. has she asked him what he wants from his future maybe his ideas and hers differ. has anyone found out if he actually wants to go to college, i know education is vitaly important but for some its role comes to an end sooner than for others and some need or want to do something different.

it is important that your friend understands that she cannot control or change his behaviour all she can ensure is that he understands what he's doing and support him where she can.

on the issue of smoking, drinking etc i think if he understands the possible consiquences there is nothing more she can do, and to remember that he's a 15 year old boy and he will grow up and although some kids go down the wrong path many teens who have behaved the same as her son in their youth grew up and grew out of alot of those things.