Thanks for the replies.

Yeah, I know its all in my head and I can get better and I have made a lot of progress. Not only through the drugs but even before the drugs I made a huge improvement. But its still there, just not that bad.

As for the indica strain, how can I tell if its indica? I have access to a lot of different strains of bud, but in all honestly if I ask my dealer is this indica hes going to laugh and tell me its fire. I don't have access to big name bud though. I can get the occansional purple urcle or sour disel but its rare.

Though I am thinking about growing my own, I've been thinking about it for about a year now.