I know for a fact cannabis helps my problems. And I feel guilty for this because I've been making edibles behind her back And thats wrong, and I know she'll be pissed about that part of it.

I just hate having to go to someone and buy and then drive all the way back home with marijuana in my car with me. Only reason I do it right now is because the guy I get it from is a good friend of mine. But still I just don't like it.

I especially don't like having to pay for something I can grow myself.

I need to get off the pain meds, I think that will kill me faster than anything.